You could consider applying for entry clearance under the points based system (Tier 2). This will of course require you to find a job with a UK based sponsor and a willing Tier 2 sponsor would of course accept that you do not yet have a visa. Alternatively your wife would need to come to the UK ...
If he wishes to remain in the UK and does not yet have removal directions set then he could do the following (depending on his circumstances): If he is in a relationship with a british citizen he may able to submit a FLR O application. Thereafter he can apply for temporary release and/or bail ...
Interesting that so many people are so very ignorant about immigration. We are thrown facts and figures and far too many people except them without exercising any thought.
Unfortunately you are at the mercy of the UKBA. I had a similar experience, terrible waiting time before I received a decision and documents. But hopefully you'll get the decision you want and you can move on with your life. I'm assuming you didn't appeal against the original refusal...
