UK/US Divorce with child

This is a bit complicated but I will try and make it as simple as I can. I a US citizen, my husband is a UK citizen in a conditional green card with a year left living in the US. We have a child who was born in the US but has dual citizenship to the UK. Ok so, my husband is physically abusive, emotionally abusive, and an adulterer. Rather than trying to get counseling and help like I've suggested he's found another woman and wants us to be done. Barring the fact that if we divorce is is question all he can even stay here, and he even has suggested we stay married officially but live apart, which I'm not okay with a it's lying. So sorry, my question. We planned on moving to the UK with our child. Better education, safer, more culture. Just all around a better life for him. However if we divorce I can not go via the spouse category. However I've been looking into the category to join a family member in the UK and in the government website there is an option to join your child in order to care for him or her. This is what I found:

Your child must be under 18 and living in the UK

You must prove that you’re not able to apply as a partner and that either:

you’re the only parent of the child and you’re the only person who’s responsible for them (you have ‘sole responsibility’)
your child lives permanently with another parent or carer who’s British or settled in the UK and not your partner, and you want to help raise them
You must be able to support and accommodate yourself without claiming public funds.


I've looked all over for real world experience with this and I can't find anything. I want to know my options, if custody comes down to splitting up time in two countries I could not be away from my son, so I was wondering if anyone could help or point me in the direction to clarify this visa option.

It would appear to me the child is habitually resident in the US, thus, the right for the child to stay in the US should be paramount, you may find it very difficult to acquire leave to enter the UK. Are you really going to trust your abusive husband to help you get back into the UK? Can you not have his 'green card' revoked if the relationship is no longer genuine and subsisting?

Yes I could potentially, he could still stay here regardless of divorce or not. But if he is deported, he could also have custody enforced internationally and I can't imagine letting my abusive husband have my child for what could be years at a time without me being able to live there. We never wanted to live in the US, I didn't, and still don't, I don't want my son to either. I inky had to come back to have my son because I was in a student visa when I got pregnant. So I am trying to find a way that if it comes to custody being enforced internationally, I don't have to let me son live away from me. From the website, this seems possible, but I've found no real world experience with this category so that's what I am looking for. I've read horror stories of children having to be split between two countries and that will be the most likely outcome of divorce.

So you are considering giving up custody of your child to a known abuser?

Surely no court on earth will grant him custody anyway, are you sure you're not subconsciously twisting this in order to settle in the UK?

No I wouldn't give up custody of my son to a known abuser. But he still is his father and he will get at least some custody and if my son has to be sent to the UK for a custody agreement, I would like to find a way to also be there with my son. I've done a lot of research on this topic so no, I'm not subconsciously making up the fact that there are international custody agreements and they do involved the child staying in the other country for periods or years at a time.

Anyways this has digressed into my personal situation more than the immigration category itself, I have done ample amounts of research on all of this, so I'm not naive, I'm not uneducated, I know what the risks are of divorcing him in regards to custody especially American custody courts, I'm simply asking if someone has had experience with this category. If i were doing this solely for myself and the only purpose of living in England I could just go ahead and stay married to an abusive husband to live there. This isn't a I'm going to do this, this is I need to know what my options are in the case that I have to send my son to live with him for any amount of time. I hope that clears it all up.