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Is Divorce, Separation or merely living apart enough to justify curtailment?

Family member & Ancestry immigration; don't post other immigration categories, please!
Marriage | Unmarried Partners | Fiancé/e | Ancestry

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AmazonianX
Respected Guru
Posts: 7312
Joined: Tue Jun 11, 2019 1:09 pm

Re: Is Divorce, Separation or merely living apart enough to justify curtailment?

Post by AmazonianX » Tue Mar 31, 2020 10:08 pm

AbusedLovingHusband wrote:
Tue Mar 31, 2020 1:51 pm
Ah! I understand the confusion now.

I am in contact with TWO solicitors.
1 = Family Law (For my divorce)
2 = Immigration Law (Just a preliminary enquiry)

I now understand. I do not need an immigration lawyer. Thank you.
Don't throw away scarce resources and let some solicitors feed fat off you.
In moving on, realizing that you didn't unnecessarily loose some things soothes the mind.

be123+
Junior Member
Posts: 75
Joined: Fri Jan 06, 2017 1:35 pm

Re: Is Divorce, Separation or merely living apart enough to justify curtailment?

Post by be123+ » Wed Apr 01, 2020 12:48 am

Dear AbusedLovingHusband,

I am sorry to hear everything what you have been going through. It takes two to a clap and if one doesn’t do then it would be hard to go forward together with whatever it is.

Firstly, we have to understand your responsibility as What you are required to do by if separation is to go forward I. Whether you need to tell the HO? Whether you need to tell EU for the schengen visa. Your wife should be the one who is worried (Not you) as whether she would be able to apply her status in the future. As to schengen visa, it’s must be a validity as when the visa is valid and expired. You don’t need to worry as per now as no flights are flying out of UK ( correct me if I’m wrong). In facts, issued schengen visas between this period are cancelled by some eu embassies and can be reissued within certain period as well.

I am also starting to question about your wife’s occupation as a carer. Whether she’s actually fit to do what she does. This would lead to question like whether her crb is also clear to do the job and based on what you said that she’s abusive. Then that’s a red flag for whatever reason. I would not be the judged for this but I think for you to come to this stage is a big decision and you have to do what’s right for you. Although it might not be what you want.

Secondly, your goals to overcome this problem. Are you going to just divorce and do not want her to be in this country or doesn’t mind at all or is there something else that you need to consider. You have to really list down in what you want to do.

But for whatever it is. I really hope and pray that you will be able to overcome this.

Apologies also if I am somehow so direct to write this comment.

AbusedLovingHusband
Newly Registered
Posts: 16
Joined: Sun Dec 08, 2019 10:59 pm

Lost Passport, Subject Access Request & Status Review Unit

Post by AbusedLovingHusband » Fri Jul 03, 2020 10:19 am

Hi be123+, AmazonianX, seagul, Obie, Casa, CR001, physicskate, secret.simon and as ever THO!
Thanks for taking the time to reply to this thread. My apologies for my slow response.

I'm still learning how this forum works and if I understand correctly. Viewers can see the entire conversation despite my changing the subject during the journey (?)

Anyway, so I am really grateful to this immigrationboards community. You have really been of assistance to me during my relationship crisis, marriage failure, corona virus and isolation.
THANK YOU!

I feel I owe it to you to update you on my continued trajectory (or should that be Tragedy?!)

Due to the Covid-19 lockdown I wasn't able to return to collect my belongings until May 30th.

During the days afterwards I noticed that my passport was missing and I clearly remembered that it had been in the house when I left back in February.

As you know, I was struggling with the conflation of the end of our relationship but my desire to provide a happy future for my stepdaughter.

I didn't want to contact the Home Office (HO) to inform them that the marriage was "no longer subsisting" as I was aware this would induce the "curtailment process".

But it occurred to me that my passport might be being misused for the purpose of renewing the visa on my behalf.

So, I decided to create a Subject Access Request (AT) Home Office (DOT) Gov (DOT) UK SubjectAccessRequest@homeoffice.gov.uk instead.

(If you are going to submit a request yourself - don't forget to include payment (£10 during June 2020) and a copy of your passport (luckily I had a digital scan of it on file))

This morning the reply has come from the Subject Access Request department.

Two interesting things I noted from the response were:

1) The Home Office already had data relating to my overseas travel - So be aware of this when telling them of your movements. They already know!

2) A status review had already been issued to "SRU Referrals & Enquiries" team (The Status Review Department) - So that must have been initiated by my estranged wife (?)

I know she contacted the Citizens Advice Bureau (because we booked the appointment together) but I don't know what advice they would have offered her. In terms of how to stay in the UK without a spousal visa. Any ideas?

My personal thoughts were that my stepdaughter might be permitted to stay in the UK on a student visa. Do you think that would be an option?

Especially during this corona virus era. You would imagine that people are not forced to leave the country in order to change visa types(?)

The problem is that communication has totally broken down between myself, my estranged wife and daughter, so I just don't know what, if anything, can be done.

I'm really just writing this for any future forum users. In the hope that it helps them, as it did me. How do I make a "thumbs up" smiley? <3

BTW, final note...
The loss of my passport was quite a mission to report. I attempted to report it in person at my local police station but they mistakenly pointed me in the direction of non official weblink removed by moderator. Shocking! They want £5 for reporting belongings lost! (Amazing profiteering times we live in!)
On the second occasion I was advised to call 101... Again that was incorrect advice.
By the third time, when advised to report the loss to "my embassy" LOL I realized that I was dealing with an inexperienced police officer. (Very sweet but naïve)
For anyone trying to report their passport missing...
You need to report it online to:
https://www.loststolenpassport.service. ... ails/en_GB

Have a good day!

THO
- thin ice -
Posts: 532
Joined: Sat Feb 17, 2018 12:12 am
Vietnam

Re: Is Divorce, Separation or merely living apart enough to justify curtailment?

Post by THO » Tue Jul 07, 2020 1:09 pm

Thanks for the update, I did wonder if you had resolved your rather messy situation. I wish I could have helped more, but glad you appreciated my input.

How do you see things going from where you are now? Will your wife have her visa curtailed and will that mean your step daughter will have to leave?

Whatever happens, please do put yourself first from now on and while you might try to help your wife's daughter, think about your future and consider any financial impact that your support might cost, remember that one day you will probably want to marry again and maybe have a family of your own, and you will certainly want to retire, so money wasted now will impact those things.

Keep in touch.

THO

AbusedLovingHusband
Newly Registered
Posts: 16
Joined: Sun Dec 08, 2019 10:59 pm

Re: Is Divorce, Separation or merely living apart enough to justify curtailment?

Post by AbusedLovingHusband » Sat Sep 26, 2020 10:18 am

Hi THO
You have helped me more than I can ever thank you for!
Wow what an incredibly painful year this has been!
I hope the virus has not affected you personally or your loved ones. Me, I lost an uncle in the first wave and my brother luckily recovered from infection during the summer.

In terms of the marriage / visa situation.
Communication has utterly broken down between her and I. It is only through mutual friends that I now believe she and our stepdaughter have left the country.

It is so sad for me because I really had wanted to make a positive difference to their lives. Some friends console me by telling me that these 2.5 years did give them experiences and learning that they would never have had otherwise.

I guess that my stepdaughter might use it as a springboard to greater things. I do hope the trauma doesn't affect her future relationships.

As for my estranged wife, we are not legally divorced yet. I guess I will wait until a lawyer from her country contacts me. I don't have any contact details for her (other than email). She benefitted financially from the split approximately 30k. I don't begrudge her that.
And thank you for the advice, I have now structured my finances in a way that will protected me from future attack. Search "Financial jamming" for anyone interested. Very helpful.

So that, my friend, appears to be the end of my story.
I hope it benefits readers and hopefully they will be better equipped for riding the rollercoaster that is life.

Stay cool brother, I hope our paths cross at some time.
You never know, this world is a crazy place.
Stranger coincidences have happened!

AmazonianX
Respected Guru
Posts: 7312
Joined: Tue Jun 11, 2019 1:09 pm

Re: Is Divorce, Separation or merely living apart enough to justify curtailment?

Post by AmazonianX » Sat Sep 26, 2020 1:32 pm

Some curve balls of life. As your messages you did your best at every point and with their interests uppermost in your heart....and that is all one can do.
Haven cut your loses, hoping you are in a better place and frame and moving on fine.

AbusedLovingHusband
Newly Registered
Posts: 16
Joined: Sun Dec 08, 2019 10:59 pm

Re: Is Divorce, Separation or merely living apart enough to justify curtailment?

Post by AbusedLovingHusband » Sat Sep 26, 2020 11:07 pm

Thanks AmazonianX
Yes I think the most important thing (especially bearing in mind the audience of IMMIGRATIONboards.com)
Is whoever you are. Migrant or resident.
Try to consider the effects of cultural and geographical changes.
If I could live my life again. I wouldn't have been so hasty to arrange migration and certainly would have ensured that we established my role as a stepfather before living together.

THO
- thin ice -
Posts: 532
Joined: Sat Feb 17, 2018 12:12 am
Vietnam

Re: Is Divorce, Separation or merely living apart enough to justify curtailment?

Post by THO » Mon Sep 28, 2020 8:29 am

Hi again Abused,

I am sorry to hear of your Covid loss. My family are so far safe and well, although I have been hit financially as my industry is global exhibitions, which of course are not going ahead.

Thanks for your kind words, I am happy I could offer some sort of help and support to you. Chin up, it will all be a distant memory soon, although the divorce could be problematic in the coming couple of years, but glad you financially protected yourself. 99% of the time advise in such circumstances is much easier to give than take or act upon, but you did your best to make it work and give them a bright future, and for whatever reason, it got thrown back in your face, so move on and put it behind you now.

What does not kill you makes you stronger or wiser. And yes, maybe one day our paths will cross, and we can sip a beer.

AbusedLovingHusband
Newly Registered
Posts: 16
Joined: Sun Dec 08, 2019 10:59 pm

Re: Is Divorce, Separation or merely living apart enough to justify curtailment?

Post by AbusedLovingHusband » Mon Sep 28, 2020 2:04 pm

Sounds great 😎👍🍺

AbusedLovingHusband
Newly Registered
Posts: 16
Joined: Sun Dec 08, 2019 10:59 pm

Re: Is Divorce, Separation or merely living apart enough to justify curtailment?

Post by AbusedLovingHusband » Thu Oct 01, 2020 7:52 am

**Update**

Errr, a little embarrassing... but only a few days after posting that last "end of story" bulletin.

I received an email from my estranged wife's employer which I duly forwarded to her. It would appear that she did indeed leave the country but has now returned.

I don't know how, and while it peeves me a little that the UK immigration system hasn't ejected her. I'm actually really happy to think that my stepdaughter will get to complete her education here and hopefully even find employment in the aviation industry.

I'm happy too that communication hasn't broken down completely and do hope for some sort of reconciliation in time. While I am now making cautious moves to move on with my life, they will always remain an important part of my history.

I thought it important to update you.
For the timebeing I can't tell you how they achieved it but will endeavour to do so as/when I find out.

Peace ☮

THO
- thin ice -
Posts: 532
Joined: Sat Feb 17, 2018 12:12 am
Vietnam

Re: Is Divorce, Separation or merely living apart enough to justify curtailment?

Post by THO » Thu Oct 01, 2020 9:14 am

Please proceed with absolute precaution and please don't let your soon to be Ex wife take you for a ride again. There is a really nice lady with good intentions out there for you, and she will come along, so don't look back. Onwards and upwards.

AmazonianX
Respected Guru
Posts: 7312
Joined: Tue Jun 11, 2019 1:09 pm

Re: Is Divorce, Separation or merely living apart enough to justify curtailment?

Post by AmazonianX » Thu Oct 01, 2020 9:23 am

AbusedLovingHusband wrote:
Thu Oct 01, 2020 7:52 am
**Update**

Errr, a little embarrassing... but only a few days after posting that last "end of story" bulletin.

I received an email from my estranged wife's employer which I duly forwarded to her. It would appear that she did indeed leave the country but has now returned.

I don't know how, and while it peeves me a little that the UK immigration system hasn't ejected her. I'm actually really happy to think that my stepdaughter will get to complete her education here and hopefully even find employment in the aviation industry.

I'm happy too that communication hasn't broken down completely and do hope for some sort of reconciliation in time. While I am now making cautious moves to move on with my life, they will always remain an important part of my history.

I thought it important to update you.
For the timebeing I can't tell you how they achieved it but will endeavour to do so as/when I find out.

Peace ☮
There is only so much you can do, if immigration authorities consider her suitable for another route, she will get the visa or leave to be in UK.

Meanwhile, it may be a good thing for some semblance of communication to be there, do note that excision of some growths is required to ensure it does not regrow and get total healing, you are in best position to evaluate and choose what works for you.

AmazonianX
Respected Guru
Posts: 7312
Joined: Tue Jun 11, 2019 1:09 pm

Re: Is Divorce, Separation or merely living apart enough to justify curtailment?

Post by AmazonianX » Thu Oct 01, 2020 9:24 am

THO wrote:
Thu Oct 01, 2020 9:14 am
Please proceed with absolute precaution and please don't let your soon to be Ex wife take you for a ride again. There is a really nice lady with good intentions out there for you, and she will come along, so don't look back. Onwards and upwards.
You have put it more clearly.

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