Spouse visa now domestic abuse route

I’m British and have been married to an American man living here with me and my British son (from another relationship) since 2021. He was given a 5 year spouse visa in 2022 but was told after 2.5 years he’d need to go through it again. We have done nothing but argue. In nearly the 2.5 years he has been here he has never had a job, no NI number, no British driving licence or a bank account. The arguments have been unbearable and my 9 year old son is getting affected by this. I’ve asked him to leave and go back to America but he says it’s taken him 45 years to leave his country and his not going back now. He says he likes it here. Since coming here he has constantly had one after another health problems what no doctor can figure out what’s wrong with him. He finally leaves and now tells me HE has been calling immigration solicitors to find out a way to stay here without me. Because he doesn’t meet any of the requirements to stay there’s one that’s been suggested to him. ABUSE. I’ve found out that during the last few months together his been recording our arguments and is trying to compile a case against me so he can stay. I feel used and horrible. I feel this man is willing to throw me under the bus and drag me through the mud, discredit my name all to obtain a visa through lies just so he can stay. Because he doesn’t tick any other box to stay his going to use the abuse card to obtain a visa. Surely the home office will see through this?

I’d also like to add that when he first was granted his visa back in 2022 he put his hands on me. Whenever I would walk out of my house to allow us both to calm down he would call 999 for me because I wouldn’t come back, the police got sick of him keep phoning them for silly things. One time he called 999 because the barman served me a drink and he thought he shouldn’t have served me alcohol because I was too intoxicated which I wasn’t. He was just trying to cause trouble. Also it’s down on police record that he put a pillow over my face. I have informed the home office a few weeks ago that we are not together and asked him to leave and go back to his family in America and ever since that’s when he started phoning all of these immigration solicitors and I’ve also seen a male domestic abuse charity number on the phone bill also. His been asking to come back and says he loves me but I asked him ‘why would you want to come back to an abuser’ if I abuse you why on earth do you want to come back? He says because he loves the abuser. His been throwing these buzz words around on the phone like ‘manipulation’ he said he hasn’t paid anyone or gone to the police he just made phone calls. I said but the intent was there to do this to me and if you do that what about my 9 year old son. Your throwing the word abuse around the social services will probably get involved. He said my son would be collateral damage. Looking back he made an appointment with the GP and ended up with antidepressants I asked how did he get them? He said he told her he was having marital problems and he said she asked him was there abuse and he said no, no nothing like that. My parents think he wants to come back because 1. He gets to stay here rent free and it’s easier. Or 2. He will want to come back because it’s easier and in the meantime provoke me so he can compile evidence against me and go ahead with his abuse application and leave when his done. Surely these people can’t do things based on hearsay? What I can’t understand is if his soooo badly treated why wouldn’t he want to go back to his home country, what he knows better

I'm sorry you're going through this. Unfortunately, all you can try and do is to kick him out of the house. But since you're married, that might even be difficult as he has "home rights".

You can report your breakdown in relationship to the home office, but that's where it ends. You don't have the powers to deport him or facilitate it.

He can try and remain in the UK with whatever works for him. That's left for the HO to decide.

He's getting free health care here in the UK and you expect him to want to leave all that behind.

I rent my house and it’s in my name. I already started to divorce him in 2023 but he ripped the papers up that I gave him. Now his declaring his love for me and mentioning money that his $$$$ are running out. He can’t afford to keep staying in a travel lodge. I told him well you started this, this is what you wanted to be in the uk and go it alone on a visa that wasn’t attached to me so this is the life you’ll have to live. His also confessed to me that 2 weeks back in 2022 before he received his biometrics card he was already googling how to stay in the uk. He says it’s my fault because I kicked him out so he basically goes in his mood and spits his dummy out and starts phoning people, but realising when his money is going down his better off with me on £300 per month where he has all his food and restaurants, BBQS, alcohol, rent gas and electric and trips to supermarket. Now it’s come back time and he says he will get a job. Which is funny because if I’m an abuser why on earth does he want to come back. Oh he loves me he says. I’m demented at the fact that if he proceeds with this social services could get involved and I’ve lived here with my 9 year old son since he was born.