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Irish Spouse has cheated - what does this do to app?

Forum to discuss all things Blarney | Ireland immigration

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thestrangepilgrim
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Irish Spouse has cheated - what does this do to app?

Post by thestrangepilgrim » Sat Jun 27, 2009 7:16 pm

I'm hoping someone can help. I've been married to an Irish citizen for almost three years. I'm North American and returned home at Christmas to see family. While I was away my husband went on several dates and slept with another woman. We have been living apart since then obviously. I am at a complete loss as to what to do. We haven't sought legal assistance to obain a legal separation as of yet and have been trying for several months to patch things up. However, should this prove to be something I can't get over, what are my options if I want to remain in Ireland? I have been here for 4 years and have just received my stamp that will let me stay for another 4 years. Immigration told me in Feb to start my naturalisation app but that is obviously on hold now! How will this new situation affect my chances of staying in Ireland? Will INIS automatically chuck my app out if they see I'm not with my husband at the moment??

In a tough position - would greatly appreciate any help!

Thanks,

tsp.

highstoolhero
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Post by highstoolhero » Sat Jun 27, 2009 8:06 pm

Technichally you are still married, i.e. not legally separated or divorced. However as your circumstances have changed you should inform Dept. Justice and seek exceptional leave to remain. It will be very difficult to make application for naturalisation without your husband's assistance as you need his passport and your marriage cert to apply. Also he must accompany you and produce his passport to registration officer should you have to renew registration while awaiting your application to be processed.

It is unlikely that you will have to leave, staying on Stamp 4 is what you are seeking. If you are seen as a single person now you may be told to seek work permit.

thestrangepilgrim
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Post by thestrangepilgrim » Sat Jun 27, 2009 8:55 pm

thank you so much for the quick reply

Ok so I have a bit to be hopeful for at the very least! Who exactly do I inform and how do I do so? Should I just go in to the GNIB in my area? I'm a bit worried to talk to them to be honest as I would imagine they wouldn't be impressed to hear I am not living with my husband anymore.

thestrangepilgrim
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Post by thestrangepilgrim » Sat Jun 27, 2009 8:57 pm

Just noticed at the end of your post you said that I may be told to seek a work permit. Does this mean I will be back at square one - ie will need to find a sponsor? If that is the case I will be caught I think as not many people here would be willing to sponsor a foreigner when there aren't as many jobs!

archigabe
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Post by archigabe » Sat Jun 27, 2009 11:10 pm

Hi There,
I would suggest you first get an appointment and meet someone at the Immigrant Council of Ireland or the Migrant Rights Center first to find out your options.

http://www.immigrantcouncil.ie/

or the Migrant Rights Center.

http://www.mrci.ie/

These are Non governmental organizations so they would be able to give you non judgmental advice.

Obie
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Re: Irish Spouse has cheated - what does this do to app?

Post by Obie » Sat Jun 27, 2009 11:36 pm

thestrangepilgrim wrote:I'm hoping someone can help. I've been married to an Irish citizen for almost three years. I'm North American and returned home at Christmas to see family. While I was away my husband went on several dates and slept with another woman. We have been living apart since then obviously. I am at a complete loss as to what to do. We haven't sought legal assistance to obain a legal separation as of yet and have been trying for several months to patch things up. However, should this prove to be something I can't get over, what are my options if I want to remain in Ireland? I have been here for 4 years and have just received my stamp that will let me stay for another 4 years. Immigration told me in Feb to start my naturalisation app but that is obviously on hold now! How will this new situation affect my chances of staying in Ireland? Will INIS automatically chuck my app out if they see I'm not with my husband at the moment??

In a tough position - would greatly appreciate any help!

Thanks,

tsp.

Hi,

Sorry to hear about your trouble.

I need to get some few detail in order to ascertain whether or not you will qualify for exceptional leave.

1. Have you got any child with this man.

2. How long have you been lawfully living in Ireland (student excluded).

3. Do you think there is any possibility you can give things another go or is it truly over.

The department usually state that stamp 4 that is issued based on marriage, and are only valid whiles the marriage is ongoing .

If you can show you have integrated fully in Ireland (job, social ties, ect)

and that the breaking of the marriage is not of your making, but due to infidelity on your husband's part, i am sure there will be compassionate basis for them to allow you to stay.

I will suggest you don't rush and tell them about the separation yet.

Speak to a lawyer and Immigrant council, before you take any step.

Remember that the current economic circumstance means that the Irish are treating immigrant with an heavy hand.

sovtek
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Post by sovtek » Mon Jun 29, 2009 7:32 am

I remember reading something about after two years marriage to an EU or Irish national you are entitled to stay. I am myself American divorced from an EU national. I would talk to a solicitor before taking any action with GNIB. The Immigration Council can give bad advice so I wouldn't go to them. They are more competant with asylum cases.

thestrangepilgrim
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Post by thestrangepilgrim » Mon Jul 06, 2009 11:42 am

Thanks for the replies.

In response to the questions from Obie:

1. Have you got any child with this man.

No no children thank god! I'm only 24 so that isn't going to be a bother for awhile! :)

2. How long have you been lawfully living in Ireland (student excluded).

I will have been here for four years in two weeks.

3. Do you think there is any possibility you can give things another go or is it truly over.

Good question. i've been dealing with a lot from him for the past two years or so BECAUSE I want things to work. It may be nearing the end as this infidelity obviously took a huge toll on me. Ultimately, I would love things to work out. Unfortunately it has to be the two in the relationship that decide that and based on his actions I am finding it hard to believe he wants the same.

I am working full time as a financial administrator and have been in employment supporting myself since i was allowed to. I have never claimed any dole payments etc. Yes i have many social ties here and many people who would speak up for me.

I think for the time being I agree with you on not making it an official separation. However, when I got my last stamp the officer told me I had to notify them if I changed address 'in case they needed to call in to me'. We were previously living together in a house owned by his parents and that is still the address I am officially registered at for bank statements, revenue. etc. Should I notify them that I'm living alone or leave it for the time being? I'm worried about this 'in case we need to call in to you' busienss! Do they actually do that here?

thanks again for the help!

tsp.

debe61
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Post by debe61 » Wed Jul 15, 2009 7:35 am

Sorry for your troubles, you are not in a easy situation. Have you tried any type of counseling or will your husband agree to talk with someone with you?

thestrangepilgrim
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Post by thestrangepilgrim » Wed Jul 15, 2009 6:54 pm

Funnily enough we were having trouble awhile back and although I suggested it to him he refused to go as he didn't think it was 'anyone else's business' etc. Very Irish response! So I went to a psychotherapist on my own for about 8 months. A week after my last session was when I discovered he had cheated. All that therapy down the drain!

I have mentioned that he should go on his own just to sort his own head out - but to no avail unfortunately. I really think it would help seeing as I can't do any more to fix things at this stage. He seems happy to just leave things as is no matter what position it puts me in with immigration. At this point he is a 'friend' who isn't making much effort to fix things but who also isn't willing to go seek a legal separation. I'm really caught in limbo at the moment so am not sure what to do...I know he would never want to see me deported or in trouble with D o J but thats really only half the problem!

If I could fix the marriage of course I would but it isn't possible unless both people work at it.

Thanks for the replies and the support!

tsp

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