Very Long absence- advice for ILR

[ruku]

In UK since 2003,got hsmp jan 2006,(1+4 yr extension)1 1/2 yr into Hsmp,unforunately has to be out of country for 1yr due to family circumstances,now recently applied under JR extension and recieved extension for next 3yrs (stamped Tier 1 Gen).Thoughts about ILR Under JR would have been eligible after 4yr.BUT
some of the posts in this forum seem to give a message that one can apply after covering for the time of absence and some seem to suggest a 'reset' of clock.I sincerely request all the suggestions,to go about.
1.when would it be better to apply(cover for the absence vs complete reset,since i re-enter)
2.r they still going consider under 4 yr JR or something else
3.i haven't seen similar scenario but what's the future options,(10 yr/14yr)if i am unlucky at whatever time i apply on hsmp
4.my wife didn't come to UK (recent marriage),how soon before my ILR application should she be a dependant on my appl.
I'll seek a good solicitor's help but PLZ advice and share your thoughts