Immigrationboards.com

Hello,
I am a british citizen and I got married and sponsored my husband in 2010 to come live in the uk on a spouse visa. After 2 years he repeatedly failed his life in the uk test so could only apply for an extension. We have now split up as he abused me and beat me. He was controlling and manipulative. I finally had the courage to call the police when he beat me again. The police arrested him and he was found guilty. Now my question is we have 2 children together, but I know he does not have any love for them as when he hit me it was infront of the children and he never spent any time with them when we were together. He is now wanting to see them but I know he is only seeing them to secure his visa which will expire next year as that is the only way he can get indefinite leave to remain. I cant see my children hurt. I wanted to know what are the chances that his indefinte leave to remain visa wil be accepted. I am in the process of letting the ukba know of my circumstances. Any advice much appreciated. Thank you

I can't see him succeeding given the history, police involvement and the fact you rightly refuse to sponsor him.

There's always a chance that some bleeding-heart human rights application might succeed of course, but odd are set against that on the face of it.

Thank you so much for replying. I really hope so it is rejected as he will just hurt and use the kids in the end, as a mother I can not see my children hurt, they mean everything to me. They dont deserve a father like him. Thanks again.

Was he convicted at court or given a police caution? You need to inform the Home Office that the relationship is no longer subsisting and that he domestically abused you/the children.

f121 wrote:Hello,
I am a british citizen and I got married and sponsored my husband in 2010 to come live in the uk on a spouse visa. After 2 years he repeatedly failed his life in the uk test so could only apply for an extension. We have now split up as he abused me and beat me. He was controlling and manipulative. I finally had the courage to call the police when he beat me again. The police arrested him and he was found guilty. Now my question is we have 2 children together, but I know he does not have any love for them as when he hit me it was infront of the children and he never spent any time with them when we were together. He is now wanting to see them but I know he is only seeing them to secure his visa which will expire next year as that is the only way he can get indefinite leave to remain. I cant see my children hurt. I wanted to know what are the chances that his indefinte leave to remain visa wil be accepted. I am in the process of letting the ukba know of my circumstances. Any advice much appreciated. Thank you

I don't understand why adults involve children in their grown up matters, he might be a bad person but even animals do affection and protection for their children's .

In the presence of under age children he might have a case though, on these basis he might be able to get DLR.

Hitting the Mother in front of the children is child abuse to me.

Amber wrote:Hitting the Mother in front of the children is child abuse to me.

This ^

This sort of thing can scar a person for life.

[/quote]
I don't understand why adults involve children in their grown up matters, he might be a bad person but even animals do affection and protection for their children's .

In the presence of under age children he might have a case though, on these basis he might be able to get DLR.[/quote]

Thank you for all replies.

I understand that there are some people who eventhough hurt their partners will never hurt the kids. But in my case I am 100 certain that he is using the kids. Its not just him hitting me, it was the way he behaved with the kids. When me and my husband were together he would never spend any time with his kids at all, all he would do is sleep and work and then watch movies all night long. What kind of father does that? He would never feed or change nappies. Basically he would do nothing with them. When you have kids your number one priority should be them. You cant be selfish, your life changes and revolves around them. But it is a blessing but in my case my husband found them to be a burden. Kids dont stay small forever and its gets easier as they grow up. My kids would be crying and he would never get up to comfort them, it meant I was not able to even shower until 2am as that was when my little one used to sleep as would be unsettled in the night due to eczema. He would never say 'you can have shower I will look after kids'. But the kids still used to go to him as they are still to small to realise when a person is ignoring them. My oldest is only 3 and little one is 1. I know im going on a bit but I believe I have a valid reason to think the way I am.
At the same time I want my kids to have a father but in the back of my head I know he will use and abonden them in the end. If he gets to stay which I guess will be the most likely thing to happen I will not stop him from seeing the kids eventhough I know what will happen. I guess my kids will have to learn the hard way of what there father is really like. I just hope he changes but I dont think that will happen.

Thanks everyone for your replies

f121 wrote:

I don't understand why adults involve children in their grown up matters, he might be a bad person but even animals do affection and protection for their children's .

In the presence of under age children he might have a case though, on these basis he might be able to get DLR.[/quote]

Thank you for all replies.

I understand that there are some people who eventhough hurt their partners will never hurt the kids. But in my case I am 100 certain that he is using the kids. Its not just him hitting me, it was the way he behaved with the kids. When me and my husband were together he would never spend any time with his kids at all, all he would do is sleep and work and then watch movies all night long. What kind of father does that? He would never feed or change nappies. Basically he would do nothing with them. When you have kids your number one priority should be them. You cant be selfish, your life changes and revolves around them. But it is a blessing but in my case my husband found them to be a burden. Kids dont stay small forever and its gets easier as they grow up. My kids would be crying and he would never get up to comfort them, it meant I was not able to even shower until 2am as that was when my little one used to sleep as would be unsettled in the night due to eczema. He would never say 'you can have shower I will look after kids'. But the kids still used to go to him as they are still to small to realise when a person is ignoring them. My oldest is only 3 and little one is 1. I know im going on a bit but I believe I have a valid reason to think the way I am.
At the same time I want my kids to have a father but in the back of my head I know he will use and abonden them in the end. If he gets to stay which I guess will be the most likely thing to happen I will not stop him from seeing the kids eventhough I know what will happen. I guess my kids will have to learn the hard way of what there father is really like. I just hope he changes but I dont think that will happen.

Thanks everyone for your replies[/quote]
My heart goes for that, what an idiot, being as a father I don't understand how some one can miss such giggles and smiles, this is the time when one can make memories for a life time, and think of when old, and at that time he ll realize what he annoyed was actually a blessing.