I'm going to leave this board for a while. I need to concentrate on more positive aspects of my life. There is nothing but negativity surrounding my ILR application. Every day I hope the long waits are a myth, with every phone call and every knock at the door having me jump up with hope that it is some news regarding my application. I would be even happy with a request for further information from the UKBA. Christ, even a rejection!! At least then I know what my position is. Today, especially, has been an extremely bad day, I've hit an all time low. My physical health is also suffering. I'm not as strong as you all on here.... I wish I was.
I came here looking for support but didn't get any. But I think it because of my situation. 15 years ago I made a bad decision and now I need to pay the price. So I tried to put my effort in helping others. I get joy from helping others plus it keeps my mind off me and my situation. Sometimes I wish I could reach through the screen and give some of you a big cuddle!! Most have been grateful but some have been condescending, especially when I misunderstood a situation (which I don't do on purpose - I welcome correction but in a friendly educational manner).
I'm sorry for those I have genuinely upset. I didn't mean and I tried to apologise when I realised my comments where hurtful. Please forgive me.
I've learnt a lot from you lovely people. My perception of immigrants has changed immensely. I now recognise that it's not groups of "immigration types" that are the problem it's the policy. Policy reform needs to happen not "people reform". When I get my ILR I hope to study law, specialising in human rights and employment law. All because of what I have read here (apart from employment law, that is due to my experience of working for a big corporation).
Once again all the very best to all of you in waiting. I may sneak back to check up on you but if you see me posting tell me off and tell me to concentrate on getting my mental health back to normal
Big hugs & kisses
Kiwi Girl