EU Treaty rights in Spain - de facto relationship

[miamiheat]

I'm a French citizen and was living in Ireland with Thai fiancee. We were able to obtain a residency card for her as we were able to prove a de facto relationship. We are together since 2012.
I have just moved to Spain and on the book her rights are exactly the same and the fact she was granted the status in Ireland should be a significant help in proving a relationship.
Within a week of arriving she got offered a job: after 2 months she has not be able to start due to the many administrative procedures we are being put through. The main problem being a system of appointments that delays matters enormously and the fact that when you show up with documents you were told you needed the civil servant pulls out a new set of documents you should provide.
The latest one being a set of documents that will set be back 2-3 months and maybe 1000 euros and that were absolutely no part of the items we were told (in 2 different occasions) that we had to provide. We were also handed out printouts and the requested items are not mentioned anywhere.
It seems the laws are one thing and what the civil servants do is exactly what they want, bluntly trespassing on rights on EU citizens.
Anyone else going through similar situation and advice on how to complain or deal with civil servants in a constructive way?
thank you!