Troubled Mother with 3 kids (all girls) married to Italian citizen

[imodon1]

Hi, would like to apologise if i'm in the wrong forum. friend of mine recommended this for me.

!	Message from: imodon1
	**please try and read this, i really need help**

I am married to my Italian husband (married him in outside UK) we are both from the same country in Africa. And have been with him for over 5 years now. we both have three kids together, all of the three kids are girls. He is Italian citizen but has been living in the united kingdom for the last five years, he was a citizen prior to the birth of our eldest daughter who will be completing 5 years old on the 19th of July 2018, none of my kids has Italian documents, they are all born in the UK but my husband keeps making excuse to give the kids and my self documents.

The kids are not well looked after, he is the only one claiming the benefit and he keeps it to him self and doesn't spend a dime on the kids. I have no right in the country, i don't work so i usually don't get money, he only give me 30 pounds monthly, i am the one buying clothes and shoes for the kids, i borrow money all the time from my friend. He keeps the money to him self, the government also pays over half the rent in the house and yet my husband can't look after his kids. We always argue every time i ask him to take care of his kids, he knows i have no right in the country so he is deliberately maltreating me and torturing me in the house. we fight all the time and i can't leave the house because i don't have document to stay in this country! He always asks me to sign the letters he receives from HMRC, he gets upset anytime i open letter that's addressed to both me and him.

We live in a three bedroom house, he use to rent the whole house out and force the family to sleep in the living room. i threatened to involve social and he begged me and decided to to move the family to one bedroom upstairs and he stayed in the other room. we are living terrible in the hose and it is depressing, i really want out of this life style with him and don't know what to do.

please, i really need help. i have three depended kids that i need to look after and they are suffering, they have no toys, i cant even afford to buy good toys for them. my husband bags all the money and forgets he has kids to look after, please, where do i stand? i want to leave him because the fighting and heated argument is getting too much, he has more man power over me and its belittling me. The kids are going through it too.

Any advice/help will be appreciated.

[Obie]

The thing is, i disagree with you saying you have no rights, because you do have rights.

You need to tell him enough is enough and get him packing.

Inform the Social security to transfer the benefits to you.

You have the right to live and work in the UK, even if you send him packing, don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

You need to put your foot down and bring an end to the rubbish.

[imodon1]

The thing is, i disagree with you saying you have no rights, because you do have rights.

You need to tell him enough is enough and get him packing.

Inform the Social security to transfer the benefits to you.

You have the right to live and work in the UK, even if you send him packing, don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

You need to put your foot down and bring an end to the rubbish.

Thanks for the reply. I really appreciate it. I meant I have no right as in I am not stable in the country, he was meant to help get my settlement paper here but he’s not doing it for over five years and keeps giving excuse. I have no visa, only my previous country passport and the kids. No resident permit

[Obie]

don't wait for him to get you papers, you take control of your destiny. He has no intention of applying for you as he want to subdue and exploit you. You have to take control and apply for yourself, or he never will.

[imodon1]

don't wait for him to get you papers, you take control of your destiny. He has no intention of applying for you as he want to subdue and exploit you. You have to take control and apply for yourself, or he never will.

I want to. But how? Where do I start?? My children doesn’t have papers because he hasn’t given it to them. He’s the only one I can get document through but he won’t give me. I know my children will automatically be british when they turn 10, in the mean time how do I get settled in the country

[Obie]

Has he been working in the UK and have you got evidence of his employment and has your older daughter started school.

[imodon1]

Has he been working in the UK and have you got evidence of his employment and has your older daughter started school.

He has been working in the uk since 5 years now. The council tax got my name and his name on it. My two daughters are in school. One is too young for school. The oldest one is starting nursery in September

[conote80]

Because you're legally married to him, you may have automatic right as his wife, to live and work in this country under EU laws sine he's Italian and exercising his treaty rights. In fact you may have achieved PR by now as he's been living and working in the UK for 5 years now.

I don't know about Italian laws with regards to children born to Italian fathers abroad but there's a chance yours kids are already Italian nationals.

I have a German friend who's been living and working in the UK for about 14 years and all his kids born in the UK are also German nationals. He just applies for them through the German Consulate in London and they're given the German passport.

Find a good lawyer and it would be sorted for you.

[imodon1]

Because you're legally married to him, you may have automatic right as his wife, to live and work in this country under EU laws sine he's Italian and exercising his treaty rights. In fact you may have achieved PR by now as he's been living and working in the UK for 5 years now.

I don't know about Italian laws with regards to children born to Italian fathers abroad but there's a chance yours kids are already Italian nationals.

I have a German friend who's been living and working in the UK for about 14 years and all his kids born in the UK are also German nationals. He just applies for them through the German Consulate in London and they're given the German passport.

Find a good lawyer and it would be sorted for you.

Hi, yes he’s been working in the uk and has a residence card. According to him he needs to bring his resident to uk in order to apply passport for his kids. He’s playing games and using us for benefit purpose and I am not sure the law that can help me and my kids.
We are married, not in the uk though. We did traditional marriage abroad( as in none certificate marriage) we have three children together and have been living together for past five years

[Obie]

Try and get the African Certificate registered, some nations do that, then try and get his payslip and P60's if you can find them, and take copies of them at least. That will assist with passport office for the children's citizenship and most likely for your application .

Then proceed with application. It is quite disheartening that a person that claim to love you, will want to take advantage and act in a manner that is contrary to your interest.

You must take control. No amount of lawyer you go to can help without you working to help yourself first.

[imodon1]

Try and get the African Certificate registered, some nations do that, then try and get his payslip and P60's if you can find them, and take copies of them at least. That will assist with passport office for the children's citizenship and most likely for your application .

Then proceed with application. It is quite disheartening that a person that claim to love you, will want to take advantage and act in a manner that is contrary to your interest.

You must take control. No amount of lawyer you go to can help without you working to help yourself first.

The marriage wasn’t registered. It’s not a registry marriage, he knew what he was doing from the start and I was in the dark. I will pay a visit to the citizen advice bureau and see what my chances are. I don’t work, he doesn’t give me money apart from the 30 pounds he gives me every month (he sometimes doesn’t give me) the benefit all goes to him. Nothing comes my way. I’m in a filthy situation. All he does is care about him self and stupid investment overseas.
I really appreciate it. Thank you very much.

[Casa]

I suggest you contact the Charity, Southall Black Sisters for free help and advice. Not all domestic abuse is physical.

https://www.southallblacksisters.org.uk/

[conote80]

Heed to the advise of the two distinguished members, Casa and Obie above. I remember reading a case that involved a Ghanaian national and the lady(lawyer) for the appellant stated that the law in Ghana doesn't mandate the parties to register a customary marriage to make it valid.

I think it's Awuku vs SSHD. It overturned that Kareem case. I will search for that ruling and the specific wording that applies to customary marriages.

You can contact your country's Embassy/Consular in the UK and explain to them how you did customary marriage and didn't register it and how they could assist you in obtaining evidence.

[imodon1]

Heed to the advise of the two distinguished members, Casa and Obie above. I remember reading a case that involved a Ghanaian national and the lady(lawyer) for the appellant stated that the law in Ghana doesn't mandate the parties to register a customary marriage to make it valid.

I think it's Awuku vs SSHD. It overturned that Kareem case. I will search for that ruling and the specific wording that applies to customary marriages.

You can contact your country's Embassy/Consular in the UK and explain to them how you did customary marriage and didn't register it and how they could assist you in obtaining evidence.

Thank you. I will be waiting (:

[conote80]

It is indeed Awuku v Secretary of State for the Home Department [2017] EWCA Civ 178 (23 March 2017)
Especially Check 15 . It is useful. As long as the marriage satisfies the laws in your country, it should be accepted in UK as well.

I am not sure the Ghana customary marriage applies to you as it may differ from other African country's customary marriages - thats if youre from a different country. It was mandatory to register customary marriages to make it valid under the Ghanaian law - Customary Marriage and Divorce (Registration) 1985; and then it was amended in 1991 to make it optional and still be valid - Amended 1991. Such marriages can also be registered anytime, and it would still be valid.

So you not registering it still makes it valid but the onus is on you to provide evidence to the Home Office to proof you're indeed married under the customary marriage laws. You can contact your country's consulate, find out if they could get you some evidence even in the form of attestation letter testifying that you're indeed married under their customary marriage laws.

You can also seek to register it now, get the required documentation and that would be solid evidence.

I suggest, you join the charity group Casa recommended above. They could really help you with guidance and a lot more.

[imodon1]

It is indeed Awuku v Secretary of State for the Home Department [2017] EWCA Civ 178 (23 March 2017)
Especially Check 15 . It is useful. As long as the marriage satisfies the laws in your country, it should be accepted in UK as well.

I am not sure the Ghana customary marriage applies to you as it may differ from other African country's customary marriages - thats if youre from a different country. It was mandatory to register customary marriages to make it valid under the Ghanaian law - Customary Marriage and Divorce (Registration) 1985; and then it was amended in 1991 to make it optional and still be valid - Amended 1991. Such marriages can also be registered anytime, and it would still be valid.

So you not registering it still makes it valid but the onus is on you to provide evidence to the Home Office to proof you're indeed married under the customary marriage laws. You can contact your country's consulate, find out if they could get you some evidence even in the form of attestation letter testifying that you're indeed married under their customary marriage laws.

You can also seek to register it now, get the required documentation and that would be solid evidence.

I suggest, you join the charity group Casa recommended above. They could really help you with guidance and a lot more.

We aren’t married by law. It’s a traditional marriage just between me and him. It’s hard to prove as it isn’t registered but it’s a traditional marriage. We ve been together for five years now, we have three children together and he’s Italian. I’m trying to get my kids Italian passports before he leaves, we are in a physically heated argument at the moment. He’s aggressive and fights even in front of the kids throws stuff such as knives and cups and Godforbid someone will die from this physical argument. Although he’s the father of my kids and I don’t want to put him in trouble which will lead him to not seeing his kids. I’m trying to find a different way to get a PR and get my kids their citizenship

[conote80]

Traditional marriage is the same as customary marriage. His family came to see your family and there's an agreement by both parties that you two are married, right? Some rites were performed by both families? That's customary marriage(traditional marriage).

You need to take those steps explained above else, no one would be able to help you.

[Obie]

It will depends on whether this OP's traditional marriage was accepted in the country in which it was contracted. If it was not, then UK will not accept it.

[conote80]

It will depends on whether this OP's traditional marriage was accepted in the country in which it was contracted. If it was not, then UK will not accept it.

True.

In most African countries(esp former colonies in Africa - Gambia, Ghana, Nigeria, Cameroon, Kenya, Zambia, Uganda) the traditional marriage is the same as the customary marriage, which is accepted in those countries. Hopefully, OP is from one of these countries.

She would have go to her county's embassy/consulate to get it registered tho

[brownbonno]

Hi, would like to apologise if i'm in the wrong forum. friend of mine recommended this for me.

!	Message from: imodon1
	**please try and read this, i really need help**

I am married to my Italian husband (married him in outside UK) we are both from the same country in Africa. And have been with him for over 5 years now. we both have three kids together, all of the three kids are girls. He is Italian citizen but has been living in the united kingdom for the last five years, he was a citizen prior to the birth of our eldest daughter who will be completing 5 years old on the 19th of July 2018, none of my kids has Italian documents, they are all born in the UK but my husband keeps making excuse to give the kids and my self documents.

The kids are not well looked after, he is the only one claiming the benefit and he keeps it to him self and doesn't spend a dime on the kids. I have no right in the country, i don't work so i usually don't get money, he only give me 30 pounds monthly, i am the one buying clothes and shoes for the kids, i borrow money all the time from my friend. He keeps the money to him self, the government also pays over half the rent in the house and yet my husband can't look after his kids. We always argue every time i ask him to take care of his kids, he knows i have no right in the country so he is deliberately maltreating me and torturing me in the house. we fight all the time and i can't leave the house because i don't have document to stay in this country! He always asks me to sign the letters he receives from HMRC, he gets upset anytime i open letter that's addressed to both me and him.

We live in a three bedroom house, he use to rent the whole house out and force the family to sleep in the living room. i threatened to involve social and he begged me and decided to to move the family to one bedroom upstairs and he stayed in the other room. we are living terrible in the hose and it is depressing, i really want out of this life style with him and don't know what to do.

please, i really need help. i have three depended kids that i need to look after and they are suffering, they have no toys, i cant even afford to buy good toys for them. my husband bags all the money and forgets he has kids to look after, please, where do i stand? i want to leave him because the fighting and heated argument is getting too much, he has more man power over me and its belittling me. The kids are going through it too.

Any advice/help will be appreciated.

Please I would want this forum to look deeply before given advise.This is a union between two adults who decided to bring three innocent beautiful girls to this world. Personally I'm more interested in dealing with part that involve the children who are future leaders of the whole wide world.
@ OP What is your country of origin?
2.Are the children with British birth certificates?
3.Is the kids Italian father's name on their certificates ?
If the answers to 1 & 2 are YES,
Then the kids can apply for their Italian citizenship PASSPORT..

//conslondra.esteri.it



Recognition of citizenship by descent for non british citizens

2016-05-11

 

Maeci

Residents at this consular district, whose family members have already had the recognition of citizenship in Italy or at an Italian Consulate other than the Consulate in London, must apply with all the original documents starting from the ancestor born in Italy.
-  Documents for the recognition of citizenship by descent do not have an expiration date.
-  The Italian mother can transfer her Italian citizenship only to children born on and after    01/01/1948
-  Applicants will need to attend the Consulate in person

Please note that if you have a tourist visa, a student visa, or a WHV (Working Holiday Visa), you cannot apply for the Italian citizenship at this Consulate. On the date of your appointment, you must have more than 2 years left on a British residence permit or more than 2 years left on a working visa.

The whole process can take up to two years to be finalized.

Descendants of an Italian national, who are not British citizens since birth need to submit to the Consulate the following:

• APPLICATION FORM DULY COMPLETED AND UNSIGNED (click here). The application must be signed in front of the officer during the appointment at the Consulate.
• ORIGINAL BIRTH, MARRIAGE AND DEATH CERTIFICATES FOR THE LAST PERSON/ANCESTOR BORN IN ITALY (Please Note:. the ancestor’s birth certificate MUST be issued by the Comune of origin in Italy, it is called “Estratto per riassunto dell’atto di nascita”) IF THE ANCESTOR NATURALISED BEFORE THE NEXT DESCENDANT WAS BORN, YOU DO NOT QUALIFY FOR ITALIAN CITIZENSHIP
• BIRTH, MARRIAGE AND DEATH CERTIFICATES FOR ALL THE DESCENDANTS  OF THE ITALIAN BORN IN ITALY IN THE LINE LEADING TO THE APPLICANT. IF ANY OF THE ABOVE RENOUNCED ITALIAN CITIZENSHIP BEFORE THE BIRTH OF THE NEXT DESCENDANT, YOU DO NOT QUALIFY FOR ITALIAN CITIZENSHIP
• DECLARATION FROM THE LOCAL AUTHORITIES IN THE COUNTRY OF RESIDENCE OF THE LAST PERSON  BORN IN ITALY THAT HE/SHE NEVER NATURALISED IN THAT COUNTRY, or with the date of naturalisation.

Each of the above certificates and the declaration (except for the “estratto” issued in Italy) must be legalised and translated into Italian. The legalisation is by means of an apostille, if the Country signed the Hague Convention of 5th  October 1961, if not it must be legalized by the Italian Embassy/Consulate in the country of issue. The translation into Italian, made by a translator, must be certified by the Italian Consulate/Embassy in the country where the certificate was issued or legalised by means of an apostille (for the Italian Consulates and Embassies visit http://www.esteri.it/mae/it/

• ORIGINAL PASSPORT OF THE APPLICANT AND PHOTOCOPY OF IT  (the pages showing the photograph, signature and U.K. residence permit or working visa).
• PROOF OF ADDRESS (utility bill, bank statement not older than three months prior the date of the appointment, etc.)
• CONSULAR FEES OF € 300,00 (at the amount in GBP based on the actual exchange rate – only cash or British debit card) to be paid at the cashier’s desk of this Consulate General. Payment information will be provided on the day of the appointment.

As of July 8th, 2014 all applications for the recognition of the Italian citizenship by descent and by marriage prior to April 27, 1983 are subject to the payment of a € 300 fee (Law n. 66 April 24th, 2014 and modifications Law n. 89 June 23rd, 2014 art. 5-bis, comma 1).
The payment will be made at Consulate General of Italy the day of the appointment in GBP by cash or British debit card at the rate in effect in the last three months . The application fee is NON REFUNDABLE, regardless of the outcome of the petition.

Each original document (with the exception of the “Estratto per riassunto dell’atto di anscita” issued by the Italian municipality) must be submitted together with a photocopy of each page of the document. PHOTOCOPIES MUST BE ON ONE SIDE ONLY. DOUBLE SIDED PHOTOCOPIES WILL NOT BE ACCEPTED.