How to help foreign spouse settle in the UK?

My husband is Indian..I'm just wondering if any of you have any advice to help him settle in when he first arrives...

Assuming he already has a spouse visa, what type of advice do you seek about settling in?

What is your background? That would help put things in context.

Here is what I did when I migrated to the UK. Mind you that I am single and so had a relatively clean slate to write on.

Before coming to the UK
Rewrite resume/CV: The style and data of resumes/CVs in the UK and elsewhere are markedly different. Help him rewrite his resume so that it conforms more to the British style of resume/CV.

Update Linkedin info to conform to the resume above

In my case, I researched on day-to-day things like season tickets (we did not have anything like Oyster cards where I came from), mobile tariffs, Internet access (I found out about local council libraries that way).

So, when I arrived into the UK, I hit the ground running, with getting my Oyster card, library membership and SIM card on Day One.

Once in the UK
Does he already have a job? Can he get an internal transfer from his current job? The fact that he has a spouse visa will make it very attractive for his current Indian employer to give him a job transfer to the UK because they do not have to arrange a visa for him. Worth seeing if he can get such a transfer.

It may sound silly, but get him to do what you consider day-to-day activities, like going to the shops. While I had no problems with adapting to self-service checkouts, one of my family members had a mental meltdown, because where he came from, it was all done for him.

Get him to go to the library and/or park and get to know people and how they work differently.

Introduce him to British cuisine. Don't stick to home-made food. Do a takeway night and introduce him to British Indian, British Chinese (neither of which are anything like the original article) and quintessentially British foods like a full English breakfast or fish and chips. If he drinks, introduce him to English ales.

That should be enough for a start.

I forgot to mention something else that worked very well for me.

Before he arrives
Many BBC radio programmes ca be downloaded as podcasts anywhere in the world. Assuming that your spouse is au fait with technology, get him to download some programmes and listen to them on the way to and from work or in his spare time while he is still in India. Some programmes that I used to listen to in this manner and hence recommend are WATO, TiP and Moneybox.

If you live in an area of the UK other than London, it may be worth looking at whether the local BBC radio station also has podcasts, so that your spouse can understand local accents and dialects.

None of the news that he hears in the way I described above will make any sense to him now. But when he comes to the UK, that will give him enough background information for him to integrate better.

You could also get him started on the Archers podcast. While not useful from a news point of view, it will introduce him to social aspects of UK life, such as gay couples, single women having children via IVF and mixed-race/religious couples.

Get him to start reading the UK newspapers online (Telegraph, Gruaniad and Mail for starters). And if he can stomach the sarcastic British sense of humour, Private Eye.

My brother, who is also looking at immigration, but not to the UK, is also employing these techniques of familiarising himself to the culture of the countries that he plans to apply to.

After he arrives
If he is a fan of Indian soaps, start him off on UK soaps.

secret.simon wrote:I forgot to mention something else that worked very well for me.

Before he arrives
Many BBC radio programmes ca be downloaded as podcasts anywhere in the world. Assuming that your spouse is au fait with technology, get him to download some programmes and listen to them on the way to and from work or in his spare time while he is still in India. Some programmes that I used to listen to in this manner and hence recommend are WATO, TiP and Moneybox.

...

+1

Excellent suggestions.
LITUK test could be replaced by a self-education programme based on the above set of suggestions.

I would add Woman's Hour (radio 4) to the listening list.
And to get a handle on UK office politics & organisational behaviour something like the TV series: House of Cards (original version) also Game of Thrones.

Also note that the concepts & dimensions of personal space & family, as well as neighbourhood dynamics, are very different (at least within the Anglo Saxon diaspora) in UK.

For example, if a person is feeling lonely or feels like a chat they can't simply invite themselves into UK relative's (or neighbour's) house for a chat or a meal or a sleep and stay there all day.

My wife struggled with these different rules about space & boundaries when she first arrived here, as such extended family and community living was normal in her culture.

noajthan wrote: Excellent suggestions.
LITUK test could be replaced by a self-education programme based on the above set of suggestions.

Thanks for the compliment.

I had not thought about remodelling the LITUK test, but now that you mention it, it makes sense. As it would be based on podcasts in the recent past, by definition, it would be current. It would get rid of the need for books. Because it would be based on podcasts and TV programs, it would automatically act as a substitute listening test. And one can't mug up the answers as current affairs move on.

I wonder if the Home Office reads this forum. They could get some brilliant ideas here

noajthan wrote:Also note that the concepts & dimensions of personal space & family, as well as neighbourhood dynamics, are very different (at least within the Anglo Saxon diaspora) in UK.

For example, if a person is feeling lonely or feels like a chat they can't simply invite themselves into UK relative's (or neighbour's) house for a chat or a meal or a sleep and stay there all day.

My wife struggled with these different rules about space & boundaries when she first arrived here, as such extended family and community living was normal in her culture.

I so completely agree with this point. My family used to get damned mad at me because I was very fussed about my personal space, even in my country of origin. It did not exist for them as a concept, whereas I was very particular about my personal space and about not invading what I perceived as theirs.

Thankfully, they are more understanding now, not that they have much of a choice, given that they are a quarter of the globe away from me.

Within my husband's culture it's considered impolite to ask someone why they are visiting your home (without pre-warning) for three days...and they aren't expected to explain the reason for their visit for three days either. Fortunately, after we settled in the UK this rule of etiquette was soon forgotten!