...make sure she doesn't fly out without a Residence Card/other leave to remain again, as I think you'll have to go through the same circus on the way back
I do feel for you, and understand your frustration and desire to get compensation...one thing you must bear in mind, as Directive said above, it will take some time to get justice and by the time it comes, you may have abandoned the plans to go all the way.
I hope that the fire in your belly stays with you for a long time as you've shown here, but don't forget that other day to day problems will come into play which may take your mind of this and in the end you will feel that, since you'd achieved what you wanted-bringin your wife here, no need to waste any more time/energy on chasing the UKBA.
As for 86ti wondering if it's right to mention those workers by name, why not? They are public officials who work for us and are being paid through our taxes etc... if they are incompetent they should be named and shamed! Although there is no particular benefit in naming them here as you are the one to write complaint letters detailing your experience and others may never see/hear of them again. But yes, get that off your chest, name them without fear.
P.S. you said that you'd noticed noone at the UKBA knows what they're doing and unfortunately in most cases this is so, save for a few senior caseworkers who invest time in reading the law rather than acting on hearsay.