Why is marriage the easiest option?

[olly_p]

Apologies if this is a question or topic that has been brought up before, i would have thought it a fairly common topic but couldn't find much info in a board search.

Having made numerous phone calls and enquiries at various VISA offices it appears the only option my girlfriend and i have for her to remain in this country is marriage. I am a UK national, she is from New Zealand. We have been together for approx. 18 months and living together for about a year. Her WHV expires at the end of March, and we can't find any way for her to stay. She has no UK ancestry, does not have the points for HSMV, had one option of sponsorship but that didn't work out due to fairly low-hand dealings by her boss. She would love to study but finding the course fees and finance for her to stay are really going to be too steep.

She goes home to NZ later this month for a friends wedding. If i went with her i could marry her there within days and she would be able to return to the UK as my wife. In 2 years time she could have a passport?

It's so easy, but what about those of us who don't want to marry for convenience? I understand a situation like this must pale into insignificance compared to those of others, since we have have a valid, safe and legal option, but is there anyway that we can continue a relationship in this country without having to get married? Taking the risk of a possible divorce if things don't work out just seems flipant in respect to marriage. Maybe just take the risk? Everone else is getting divorced...

[OL7MAX]

Say they gave her ILR on the basis of your relationship, what happens if the relationship breaks down?

A) She loses her ILR: Not fair on her. She's forever in your "debt" and at your "mercy". Long term risks: A return of slavery.
B) She doesn't lose her ILR: An even better way for hundreds of millions of immigrants to flood the UK if they don't even have to prove marriage but just that someone here is willing to put them up for a few months.

Living together for a year you say? Hmm. Housemates/tenants do that all the time. That doesn't prove anything.

Marriages break down too but some would argue that a marriage is a little more indicative of a long term commitment than, say, attending a New Year's party together. And the HO, unfortunately for you, is looking for evidence of a long term commitment.

Other legal options, of course, are:
1. You moving to NZ for a bit
2. Living apart for a while
3. Both of you saving to fund her returning as a student
etc.

[darksquid]

I would venture to guess that a large percentage of fiance/spousal visas are applied for by people who would really rather NOT be getting married for immigration purposes, but don't see any other way around the matter. I'm not saying these are fraudulent or 'convenience' marriages, but the fact remains that a relationship with someone from another country is not a 'normal' relationship. There is nothing convenient about it, and it isn't the job of the British Home Office to make it easy. You do not have the luxury of years of dating, comfortably getting to know eachother.

I spent a total of four months with my husband before we married, and three years later, I have not regretted for a single minute jumping in with both feet. My student visa had expired, and we didn't have any options...it was get married or call off the relationship. I know many other couples who have faced the same dilemma, and took the plunge in order to remain together.

18 months together? Luxury! Surely by now, you should know if your relationship is worth saving rather than letting it slip away. I hope you find an option that works for you, but know that getting married 'because you have to' can have wonderful wonderful consequences. I haven't regretted it for a moment.

[Wanderer]

darksquid takes total sense! I would actually go out on a limb and say the UK fiancee/spouse visa is too easy to get, one visit and couple of phone call plus chatting on MSN doesn't make a relationship.

That's why we took an enormous chance and arranged her student visa here, we both felt it was the only way we could get to know each other well enough to know we want to live together permanatly.

Luckily, financial strain tho it has been, we could afford it. If you can't afford it then IMHO you shouldn't be dabbling in international relationships, the risk are too great.

No directing this at the OP, just having a rant!

The internet has made it easy to start relationship over ethernet, but the costs are higher as are the risks. 20 grand down and two years later u could still find ur selves divorced and ur ex sent back home, jobless, rootless and penniless.

[Phil_C]

Olly - have you worked out the cost of her studying in the UK. Most colleges in London offer diploma courses from £750. If this is beyond your budget it may not be an option, however you should consider that a flight to New Zealad to get married will also be expensive.

-

[olly_p]

Thanks to you guys for your replies, advice and rants, and it's really good to know it worked out for some of you taking the plunge so quickly. We've knocked back and forth all the ideas and the cost implication of her studying here - film school at a 16k a year - is just too much and was the only other option. she can study at home for less, and it looks like that will be the choice for now - and see what happens in a year. Luckily i can afford to fly there, and head that way once a year on work. I travel a lot with work anyway, so we have had a pretty fragmented relationship up until now. fingers crossed!