Extended limited leave to remain and broken marriage

[applepip]

(admin : sorry if this is posted in the wrong area!)

Hiya,

Short background:
I'm American, husband British. We have been married since aug 2006. I rec'd my limited leave to remain in oct 2008. Nearly 2 years ago I applied for an extension due to financial constraints and difficulties planning when/how to take the life in the UK test (infant twins).

I am due to apply to ILR or I guess another extension in february 2013, however myself and husband have unofficially separated. He has mental issues which remain largely uncared for which was leading to some pretty horrific arguments and treatment of myself and our children. I have 4 children, one of which is my daughter and also solely American. My other 3 are his and either solely British or dual.

We are settled here. The girls attend school etc. I have been eligible for ILR since 2010.

As of right now, we are married, but this is quickly turning into a mess - he's pursuing other relationships less than 2 months since separation and divorce hasn't been seriously discussed between us now.

Please, help - what can I do to maintain our residency? I don't want to irrevocably separate the children from their father, nevermind I am unsure of my legal position to do so given the girls citizenship status.

He has claimed that he will sign either ILR or paperwork granting American citizenship. I am unsure of the legalities of this though as the marriage seems entirely irreconcilable, he won't even talk about counselling etc.

I'd prefer to keep my family here.

TIA

[Lucapooka]

Since your previous thread last year, the rules have changed and child access leave that would have led to ILR within 12 months has now been removed. A similar application would now take 5 years but at least you would be in the UK.

Nobody is going to suggest you simply lie (in collusion with your partner) to apply for ILR now.

[applepip]

Since my previous thread last year....

I had chosen to continue to attempt to work things out, he did seek medical help although now doesnt take medication regularly which is meant to be taken daily, leading to even more volatile outbursts.

TBH my marriage was always paramount to me. Things have been HARD, but my marriage came first, my worries about immigration second.

I thought when he finally agreed to see the doctor, things would get better, so I let it ride.

I obviously had concerns about him agreeing to sign ILR, which is why I questioned it.

I recall someone saying something about me being allowed to stay to see my children however he's no intention nor the health and over-my-dead body of taking custody.

I'm confused and didn't know where to turn. My local CAB is only open 1 day a month and tbh, since he left, I've been struggling with just taking care of my children

[Casa]

Are you still living separately?

[applepip]

Yes, for 6 weeks now.

[Lucapooka]

Nobody is going to suggest you simply lie (in collusion with your partner) to apply for ILR now.

So, I could only suggest that you apply as a parent.

http://www.ukba.homeoffice.gov.uk/visas ... d/parents/

http://www.ukba.homeoffice.gov.uk/polic ... -a-parent/

[applepip]

That sounded really good until I read that I'll still have no recourse to public funds.

As a sole parent to 4 children, I was a dependent to my husband. I left my courses in the USA to be with him and have no qualifying skills that would support my children so am unable to provide evidence to that degree. :'(

I would recieve CSA, but he's speaking if moving south and going to university and quitting all but essential work until he attains a degree. He has 5 children (3 by me) and is intending to reduce support to the barest amount. He claims CTC and CB for the children which I get ultimately, but I do not know the rules surrounding this if the children are not resident with him. He's mentally unfit to have any sort of residency.

I obviously need to speak to CAB and a lawyer, but haven't the funds to retain a lawyer.

My only hope was that with ILR I could get housing benefit, a job, and finish university as a nurse, therefore providing a standard of living for my children.

I'm not an uneducated individual, but I feel like this bs belongs on jerry springer! I gave up everything to be with this man, who portrayed himself to be something he is not and have lived with serious mental instability, suicide threats, threats to remove my children if I attempt to go home (last year) and a volatile temper that has seen many things in this house broken/destroyed. He has threatened to remove basic amenities and has treated my eldest with disdain.

I KNOW I should've done something about this a while ago, but I fell in love with this man and kept hoping something would bring back the person I loved. Add that to the basic fear of going it alone with 4 children!

Sorry for the vent, it just seems so bloody unfair that I've gone through all of this and now I'm stuck in this position.

[Lucapooka]

If there is illness and hope of a cure, and hope of reconciliation, then you can apply for further leave to remain as a partner. You will be given another period of two years. This may not be possible under your current circumstances of being separated.

Find a decent lawyer and talk over your many and varies options.

[applepip]

No chance of a cure unless he takes meds. He's already pursuing other relationships. I don't believe the doctors have scratched the surface of his psychological issues.

I am wondering if I qualify under the domestic violence leave to remain? There has only been one incidence if physical violence, however a long history of emotional abuse and pressure tactics.

There is a "paper trail" to support this I believe. As well as numerous character references from those that know him. And, a previous divorce that cites domestic violence as a supporting factor. Wish I would've known that BEFORE I married him. . He seemed so sweet and helpful and romantic.

I'm feeling awfully stupid right now.