Unmarried partner UK family permit application details

[stuckinfrance]

Hello,

I am certain that there is nothing new under the sun so my situation is not unique - but after searching for a few hours I can't find my queries addressed.

The details: I am American, he is Swedish. We have been living together for 12 years in 3 countries. We aren't married.

We've been in France for ~6 years now and I've never managed to get papered because soon after we arrived, a lawyer took 1000 euros and told me the best I could hope for was a 1 year visitor visa which totally freaked me out and put me off dealing with the authorities. My partner is disabled and at the time, he would not have been able to survive without me so the stakes were too high to risk any separation.

All of which means I'm a 'visa overstay' at worst, undocumented at best.

We now want to move to the UK, and I want to get legitimized so I can visit the States without fearing being denied re-entry.

So I thought to apply for a family permit. The system is asking all sorts of questions I don't think they're allowed to consider, like how much we have in savings, how much we spend on living expenses, and the like. I filled it in but didn't submit it because I thought I should double check with you smarties to see if they were being too nosy and what to do.

Further, I know we'll be required to supply documentation of a marriage-like relationship. Because I've not been legitimized here, I of course don't have any bills or accounts in my name at this address - they've all been in his name only. My bank & stuff is all still at my family address in the States.

I can supply lots of 'testimonies' - notarized and everything - of people who know us, both family and local friends who have known us for years and know of our relationship. Further, there is no doubt we could pass any sort of 'marriage test' they offered since we've been living in each other's pockets for 12 years. But I can't supply any 'authority' sort of documentation. We also have a few pictures of us together over the years, but not anything substantial for the past 2. I usually take pictures so they're all of him, not both of us.

My question is: What is the best approach for us to overcome these issues and be successful in moving to the UK legitimately? I am really, really, really OVER being undocumented.

Thanks in advance for any help.