abusive partner what to do

[sammy36]

Hi I'm a new member on this board so please bear with me.

I have a younger sister who my parents decided to marry off a couple of years ago. We are all British citizens of Pakistani origin and my sister got married to a Pakistani boy my parents chose for her. Although i was against this arranged marriage my sister seemed happy so i just accepted the whole situation.

Anyway my sister sponsored her husband into the UK and he arrived here in Sept 2012. As far as i was concerned everything was ok between them as I'm not one to meddle in anyone roses business.

last week the guy a abruptly left the marital home which was my parents house the couple were living in. Only now my sister has opened up and told us what she's been suffering at this guys hands. For months now it appears he has been mentally abusing her, she had a job which she quit because he didn't want her to work, he didn't like it when she got phone calls, even if it was a family member, he said that he had people watching her every step and knew what time she used her phone how many calls she got a day even what texts she had recieved, he also accused her of having boyfriends, even said he will divorce her at any moment.

Now i feel real bad coz it appears everything this guy has said to her she has beleived and this made her real scared. Due what ever reason she has lived with this and also on 2 occasions he has been physically abusive also.

its only now she gained courage to say to him in telling my family that the guy has left.

My question is what can be done to this guy as far as his immigration status is concerned anyway he can be sent packing back home

[Casa]

Your sister can write to advise the Home Office that the marriage has broken down. They may or may not act to remove him, but without her support he will be unable to apply for ILR as a spouse when the time comes.

[Amber]

Hi I'm a new member on this board so please bear with me.

I have a younger sister who my parents decided to marry off a couple of years ago. We are all British citizens of Pakistani origin and my sister got married to a Pakistani boy my parents chose for her. Although i was against this arranged marriage my sister seemed happy so i just accepted the whole situation.

Anyway my sister sponsored her husband into the UK and he arrived here in Sept 2012. As far as i was concerned everything was ok between them as I'm not one to meddle in anyone roses business.

last week the guy a abruptly left the marital home which was my parents house the couple were living in. Only now my sister has opened up and told us what she's been suffering at this guys hands. For months now it appears he has been mentally abusing her, she had a job which she quit because he didn't want her to work, he didn't like it when she got phone calls, even if it was a family member, he said that he had people watching her every step and knew what time she used her phone how many calls she got a day even what texts she had recieved, he also accused her of having boyfriends, even said he will divorce her at any moment.

Now i feel real bad coz it appears everything this guy has said to her she has beleived and this made her real scared. Due what ever reason she has lived with this and also on 2 occasions he has been physically abusive also.

its only now she gained courage to say to him in telling my family that the guy has left.

My question is what can be done to this guy as far as his immigration status is concerned anyway he can be sent packing back home

I am very sorry to hear this I am always against arranged marriages just because you don't often know the person well. However, it's cultural so we must respect it.

I will assume he applied for the spouse visa before July 2012 so is user the old rules. I also assume they were not married for any significant period in Pakistan. This means he has a 2 year probationary period and at the end of that he may be eligible to settle here. However, in order to apply for settlement as a spouse/partner the relationship must be subsisting. Thus if your sister doesn't agree to the application, sign the form and give the ho her passport he can't apply. If he can't apply and doesn't meet any other requirements for a visa he will be rejected and can be deported. I assume also they have no children. Your sister can write to the ho to report a change of circumstances - relationship broken down due to domestic abuse.

Although you want rid of him, as no doubt we all would. I can't help to think about the poor women in Pakistan who may be subject to him. There is very little support for women in Pakistan.

If he is abusive towards your sister she needs to ring the police, he should be held accountable for his conduct.

Visit http://safe.met.police.uk/crimes_of_hon ... _help.html for some other possible support.

[sammy36]

Hi Guys

Thanks for your advice. Sorry it's taken me a long time to get back on here. We have been trying now for weeks to speak to my brother in law and also to his brother who his has been living with since he left.

For the sake of my sister we have been trying to find some common ground to see if there is any chance things can work out between them. However it appears both brothers are not thinking in that sense. They have both accused my sister of locking him up and beating him and also my mother of verbally swearing at him. This is very shocking allegations they are making which are completely baseless as it was my sister that suffered the abuse however never informed the police.

We simply don't know what to do now and my sister has said she doesn't want to live with such a guy anymore. Does anyone know of a good solicitor who can help us in this matter as we don't know anything about the law. Should we go to the police? Although he is accusing us of these things no police has
been to my parents house to follow up his allegations. This is getting really messy and need help ASAP from a solicitor on what my sisters rights are. We live in the west mids so can anyone recommend a solicitor??

Very desperate situation, we have spent so much money on this guy and treated him so well and this is how we been rewarded. Maybe he is thinking of remarrying another girl in this country to get his stay. Somehow we need shot of him. As you can imagine its hard in asian families who are the girls side in these sort of situations. We are all stressed out.

[Amber]

Hi Guys

Thanks for your advice. Sorry it's taken me a long time to get back on here. We have been trying now for weeks to speak to my brother in law and also to his brother who his has been living with since he left.

For the sake of my sister we have been trying to find some common ground to see if there is any chance things can work out between them. However it appears both brothers are not thinking in that sense. They have both accused my sister of locking him up and beating him and also my mother of verbally swearing at him. This is very shocking allegations they are making which are completely baseless as it was my sister that suffered the abuse however never informed the police.

We simply don't know what to do now and my sister has said she doesn't want to live with such a guy anymore. Does anyone know of a good solicitor who can help us in this matter as we don't know anything about the law. Should we go to the police? Although he is accusing us of these things no police has
been to my parents house to follow up his allegations. This is getting really messy and need help ASAP from a solicitor on what my sisters rights are. We live in the west mids so can anyone recommend a solicitor??

Very desperate situation, we have spent so much money on this guy and treated him so well and this is how we been rewarded. Maybe he is thinking of remarrying another girl in this country to get his stay. Somehow we need shot of him. As you can imagine its hard in asian families who are the girls side in these sort of situations. We are all stressed out.

Well if she doesn't support his set(m) application he'll not be staying unless he can get another visa. It doesn't matter if you've wasted money on him, forget about that or it'll just eat you up. Some people are just not who you think they are, they and their families can have very bad intentions. She should involve the police if she feels she could be subjected to abuse or an honour based crime.

[Casa]

From what you've written he may well be intending to apply for a Domestic Violence visa. I've sent you a PM with a legal advisor recommendation.

[akaamir]

From what you've written he may well be intending to apply for a Domestic Violence visa. I've sent you a PM with a legal advisor recommendation.

even its week late your sister still can ring police and explain them what happend and what she been through im sure they will help her and take action and even they will help her to remove him from this country and what every comunication you ur sister or any one in your family do with you brother in law make sure its record on phone so later on it will help her in her case that he was very unfair with her.

[Amber]

Indeed, the HO would expect to see evidence of domestic abuse for a domestic abuse visa.

[Casa]

Reddevil one more post like this and you will be banned from the forum. Post with respect or not at all. I note that you're claiming as victim of DV yourself...so a little sympathy would be expected.

[Amber]

Looking like a troll.

[Obie]

Reddevil's posts were so inappropriate, that I felt the need to delete them.

I would have taken the further step of banning him, but as you have given him a warning, Ibelieve it will not be proper to against it.

If this guy has done what op has alleged he did, need reporting to the police might be an appropriate step to take.

It is a very unfortunate situation for anyone to find their sibling in.