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Marraige breakdown & unsupportive partner

Use this section for any queries concerning the EU Settlement Scheme, for applicants holding pre-settled and settled status.

Moderators: Casa, John, ChetanOjha, archigabe, CR001, push, JAJ, ca.funke, Amber, zimba, vinny, Obie, EUsmileWEallsmile, batleykhan, meself2, geriatrix

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iamcompletelymad
Newbie
Posts: 42
Joined: Wed Mar 21, 2012 2:52 pm

Marraige breakdown & unsupportive partner

Post by iamcompletelymad » Tue Oct 08, 2013 11:48 am

Hi guys, I got married in jan 2012. Till last year everything was working out fine. Then my wife decided that its not working out anymore and she cant see any future with me. I found out later that she was cheating on me for last 6 oddmonths. Its almost 2 years to our marriage. Yesterday she told me that she wants to get out of this mess and doesnt care about what happens to me. I explained to her that it can destroy my life now as I am at the pinnacle of my my career and sole bread earner for my family. But she isnt ready to understand or wait for another year for me to complete 3 years in this marriage. . Im in uk since 7 years and it will be very difficult for me to start life again from scratch in my home country. Can anyone anyone please suggest if if there's any way to finish this relation without getting thrown out of the country? Or can I transfer to another visa like a work permit or any other route. Any advice will be helpful.


Entered uk 2006: student visa till 2012: married eea citizen jan2012: Eea2 family permit since 2012 till date

Imshzd
Senior Member
Posts: 612
Joined: Sat Mar 23, 2013 2:34 pm
Location: London

Post by Imshzd » Tue Oct 08, 2013 12:08 pm

If you have a child from this relation then you can stay in this country without any problem.if not then after 2 years it's impossible to retain rights.

iamcompletelymad
Newbie
Posts: 42
Joined: Wed Mar 21, 2012 2:52 pm

Post by iamcompletelymad » Tue Oct 08, 2013 2:52 pm

Imshzd wrote:If you have a child from this relation then you can stay in this country without any problem.if not then after 2 years it's impossible to retain rights.
I dont have any child .. Seriously there isnt any other way to sort it out and stay in uk. ?

askmeplz82
Diamond Member
Posts: 1743
Joined: Wed Jun 13, 2012 1:47 pm

Re: Marraige breakdown & unsupportive partner

Post by askmeplz82 » Tue Oct 08, 2013 3:19 pm

iamcompletelymad wrote:Hi guys, I got married in jan 2012. Till last year everything was working out fine. Then my wife decided that its not working out anymore and she cant see any future with me.
Really sorry to hear this. I had the same problem back in 2011 after 2 years marriage. My ex decided to leave me. She left me for one of my housemate.

Anyway at first she went to see a lawyer and decided to get divorced but the lawyer told her that if other half ( if i don't agree ) then it will be expensive to go to court and will take ages and she need to pay for everything so she changed her mind. Remember it's very expensive to get divorced here in the UK if one doesn't agree

After that things changed and we became like a friend. it's nearly 5 years after marriage. we are still married , good communication but separated for nearly 3 years.

so as i said talk to her. Work out why it not working . visit relationship advisor. If it's not your fault then i'm sure she will agree.
UK Student Visa : 04/2004 - 09/2009
EEA Residence Card : 07/2010 - 7/2015
EU Settled Status: Confirmed on 16th July 2019
Naturalisation : Confirmed on 02nd Oct 2020
Passport Approval : 21st Feb 2021

iamcompletelymad
Newbie
Posts: 42
Joined: Wed Mar 21, 2012 2:52 pm

Re: Marraige breakdown & unsupportive partner

Post by iamcompletelymad » Wed Oct 09, 2013 6:29 am

askmeplz82 wrote:
iamcompletelymad wrote:Hi guys, I got married in jan 2012. Till last year everything was working out fine. Then my wife decided that its not working out anymore and she cant see any future with me.
Really sorry to hear this. I had the same problem back in 2011 after 2 years marriage. My ex decided to leave me. She left me for one of my housemate.

Anyway at first she went to see a lawyer and decided to get divorced but the lawyer told her that if other half ( if i don't agree ) then it will be expensive to go to court and will take ages and she need to pay for everything so she changed her mind. Remember it's very expensive to get divorced here in the UK if one doesn't agree

After that things changed and we became like a friend. it's nearly 5 years after marriage. we are still married , good communication but separated for nearly 3 years.

so as i said talk to her. Work out why it not working . visit relationship advisor. If it's not your fault then i'm sure she will agree.


Thank you so much for your advice dude. She doesn't want to be with me anymore so going to a relationship advisor is out of the question. If she gets mental and reports me to home office that we are still married but not together , will I get a chance to defend myself or will I be asked to leave the country ??

I also wanted to ask if anyone has an idea about the the procedure of divorce. Does it take long if both parties agree and is it necessary for both partners to be here in this country to get divorced? How would i start proceedings of divorce if My partner will be in some other country in a years time ??

Thank you so much all for your help. Any advice would be helpful.

ninkas
Junior Member
Posts: 90
Joined: Tue Sep 10, 2013 12:33 pm
Poland

Re: Marraige breakdown & unsupportive partner

Post by ninkas » Wed Oct 09, 2013 12:05 pm

iamcompletelymad wrote:
askmeplz82 wrote:
iamcompletelymad wrote:Hi guys, I got married in jan 2012. Till last year everything was working out fine. Then my wife decided that its not working out anymore and she cant see any future with me.
Really sorry to hear this. I had the same problem back in 2011 after 2 years marriage. My ex decided to leave me. She left me for one of my housemate.

Anyway at first she went to see a lawyer and decided to get divorced but the lawyer told her that if other half ( if i don't agree ) then it will be expensive to go to court and will take ages and she need to pay for everything so she changed her mind. Remember it's very expensive to get divorced here in the UK if one doesn't agree

After that things changed and we became like a friend. it's nearly 5 years after marriage. we are still married , good communication but separated for nearly 3 years.

so as i said talk to her. Work out why it not working . visit relationship advisor. If it's not your fault then i'm sure she will agree.


Thank you so much for your advice dude. She doesn't want to be with me anymore so going to a relationship advisor is out of the question. If she gets mental and reports me to home office that we are still married but not together , will I get a chance to defend myself or will I be asked to leave the country ??

I also wanted to ask if anyone has an idea about the the procedure of divorce. Does it take long if both parties agree and is it necessary for both partners to be here in this country to get divorced? How would i start proceedings of divorce if My partner will be in some other country in a years time ??

Thank you so much all for your help. Any advice would be helpful.
Hi ! the divorce takes around 4 to 6 months if both partners agrees on the terms.Costs £410 right now-just court fees.If you and your wife made the decision to end your marriage you don't have to involve solicitor neither attend the court.Just file for divorce.You don't have to stay in the same country during the divorce.If one spouse doesn't want to divorce there is usually longer required separation period and the divorce will go on the contested docket which also takes longer.
If she goes back to her country,she will be able to file for divorce from there.There is 5 reasons to divorce:adultery,unreasonable behaviour,desertion,2 years separation,5 years separation.In fact,the absence of one part is the easiest way to obtain divorce.I divorced my British husband this way.I was advised by lawyer not to go through adultery route -even though he was cheating on me big time-as its time consuming and not easy to prove,so I left UK for 5 months-we were married for 17 months altogether and I was granted the divorce on the basis of unreasonable behaviour- there is not such a thing in UK divorce law as irreconcilable differences.By my departing I prove that my marriage broke down irretrievably and that was it.
So if you didn't live together for a quiet few months.she could file on this basis and the divorce will be granted.As a woman I would advice to talk to your spouse,try to convince her to help you.Surely you have been good friends prior to marriage.
And about the cost-well I had to have a solicitor involved and in 2008 the divorce process costed me around £1200.So wasn't that much really compares to getting rid of my cheating,drinking husband

askmeplz82
Diamond Member
Posts: 1743
Joined: Wed Jun 13, 2012 1:47 pm

Re: Marraige breakdown & unsupportive partner

Post by askmeplz82 » Wed Oct 09, 2013 6:55 pm

iamcompletelymad wrote:
askmeplz82 wrote:
iamcompletelymad wrote:Hi guys, I got married in jan 2012. Till last year everything was working out fine. Then my wife decided that its not working out anymore and she cant see any future with me.
Really sorry to hear this. I had the same problem back in 2011 after 2 years marriage. My ex decided to leave me. She left me for one of my housemate.

Anyway at first she went to see a lawyer and decided to get divorced but the lawyer told her that if other half ( if i don't agree ) then it will be expensive to go to court and will take ages and she need to pay for everything so she changed her mind. Remember it's very expensive to get divorced here in the UK if one doesn't agree

After that things changed and we became like a friend. it's nearly 5 years after marriage. we are still married , good communication but separated for nearly 3 years.

so as i said talk to her. Work out why it not working . visit relationship advisor. If it's not your fault then i'm sure she will agree.


Thank you so much for your advice dude. She doesn't want to be with me anymore so going to a relationship advisor is out of the question. If she gets mental and reports me to home office that we are still married but not together , will I get a chance to defend myself or will I be asked to leave the country ??

I also wanted to ask if anyone has an idea about the the procedure of divorce. Does it take long if both parties agree and is it necessary for both partners to be here in this country to get divorced? How would i start proceedings of divorce if My partner will be in some other country in a years time ??

Thank you so much all for your help. Any advice would be helpful.

if you are separated but remain married until Jan 2015 then you can retain your right

You do not have to live in the same household as the EU national spouse

Where divorce proceedings have not been implemented for at least 3 years (so the marriage lasted 3 years and your EEA national spouse was exercising treaty rights), then it will be possible for you to apply to make an application to “retain their right of residence” to remain in the UK.

This effectively means that you can apply to remain in the UK for a further 5 years and if your application is granted by UKBA, then following completion of 10 years, you can apply for Permanent Residence and after a further one year of holding permanent residence you can then apply for Naturalisation s a British citizen.
UK Student Visa : 04/2004 - 09/2009
EEA Residence Card : 07/2010 - 7/2015
EU Settled Status: Confirmed on 16th July 2019
Naturalisation : Confirmed on 02nd Oct 2020
Passport Approval : 21st Feb 2021

iamcompletelymad
Newbie
Posts: 42
Joined: Wed Mar 21, 2012 2:52 pm

Post by iamcompletelymad » Tue Oct 15, 2013 6:32 am

Thanks for your advice guys. I hope somehow she changes her mind to wait for a year to help me. How does the divorce procedure work if she's in another country in europe? Will it make it more complicated ?

Amber
Moderator
Posts: 17506
Joined: Tue Jan 15, 2013 11:20 am
Location: England, UK
Mood:
United Kingdom

Post by Amber » Tue Oct 15, 2013 6:41 am

There is only one reason to grant divorce, an 'irretrievable breakdown' of the marriage this can be evidenced by one of five 'facts' as outlined above.
**this forum is not intended to be a substitute for professional advice**
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