Sham marriage and domestic abuse

[jannatha]

Its taken me a long time to give it all a think with the hope that my husband will come back to me. Last time we spoke on the phone was 14th June 2016 when conditions were put forward to him in maintaining our marriage and taking responsibility but he refused all of them.

I haven't heard from him since. I sacrificed so much for him even I left my mum to marry him to KEEP him in the UK because that pressure of his student visa was due to expire in April 2014 hence we got married in March 2014. I loved him so much hence why I married him. In this 2 years I kept giving and giving but didn't get anything back from my husband and his family back home. I blindly loved him but he never loved used. All he kept doing is using to for his gains in Bangladesh. He used me to take out a loan of £15k and used it for his needs back home. He kept asking me for money, I kept giving. He never used to financially support me properly. I used to shop, cook, clean, wash but all he ever used to do is come home at 12am, eat, watching TV until 3-4am and sleep till its time for him to go to work again for 5pm.

The first year of our marriage was hard. He must have changed his job 20 times because people don't like his laziness at work. We would constantly be fighting because I want to spend time with my husband. I would want to go out, meal, cinema etc. but that hardly happened until I would start crying and arguments would break out.

I love holidays but he's always refused to take me despite of being on spouse visa because he was so scared. I managed to persuade him to go Egypt which he agreed on in august 2014 but because immigration stopped and questioned him on way back which they were doing their job, he's too scared to travel out but would always give me that hope AFTER RENEWAL OF VISA which obviously clearly shows he's waiting for renewal then he can get his ILR and leave me.

He's still in that hope I will renew his visa after everything he has made me go through. He still owes me loads of money which I have used on him but he refusing to pay me back. He still owes me £6500 my dowry money and £765 money which I lent him. We haven't been living together since the night of 28th May 2016 where he left me in the middle of the night to pick up his sister’s husband to be which I was against because that's another long story which was where it all started. He went to another women for help despite having a wife. This emotionally destroyed me. What didn't I do for this guy. I did the world for him. I really don't know what my future hold with him anymore, he hasn't bothered with me last 7 weeks especially its Ramadan, I don't think he is ever going to come back. I have been so destroyed and trust me, I have never cried this much as I have in this last 7 weeks. I don't know what to do with my life.

My family have been telling me from beginning, don't spoil him but I did because I loved him. My mum never wanted me to marry him in the first place because mum knew he would do this to me. This is what many men from back home do. I never thought my husband would do this to me. He and his whole family from back home all used me to the max and now that they have used this other new man in the family and he's given them so much money, they don't need me anymore. They were poor, I looked aftered them and brought them back to a lovely satisfying life.

This marriage was clearly and utterly based on my visa to him. I want you curtail his visa and give him no chance of getting another visa. I waited a month to sort things out. He doesn’t deserve me. I have never seen such greedy man in my life. Only have ever heard these stories till witnessing my own. I don't know what my future holds with him but this is surely the best step for me to take before he plans on leaving the country as I know he was making plans on leaving to go Spain to become legal there by paying someone a few months back...

He hasn’t tried to contact me until Saturday 16th July where we tried to sort things out on the phone but he kept saying me to find my own path and he'll move on but not once I said it until after he said it 10 times. He called me Saturday because he wanted to meet me on Sunday at 12pm to sort things out but he kept saying he scared because i have cancelled his visa. Anyway we continued trying to sort things out then Sunday came i called him as soon as i woke up to see where he is. I called him and asked where he is, his instant response was 'why do you want to see the police to me,?' I was baffled because I was actually really looking forward to seeing him because I love him. He refused to come and see me as promised. He kept saying in what basis do i come you cancelled my visa. I was calm the first 2 calls i made to him then it made me really upset on the 3rd call. He clearly said 'contact solicitor and get my visa back then i will come back otherwise you go your way i go my way'. He has mentally tortured me so much in this 2 and half year of marriage. He has always blackmailed me and used me for his benefits. I still want to be with him but he doesn’t want to be with me unless i give him his visa.

Now he keeps calling me for his passport, but refuses to give my dowry which I have every right over because he doesn't want to have a marriage relationship with me. I also want all my stuff that I gave to his rubbish family in Bangladesh back but they all refusing to give back.

Finally after waiting a month, Home Office has made the decision of curtailing his visa which leaves him in a mess. good he deserves this.

[Casa]

I can appreciate your anguish, which would be expected in any relationship breakdown, but what immigration advice do you want from the forum?