Spouse Visa Relationship Ended

[atilla12345]

(If posted in wrong section please put in right section of forum)

Hi All

I am in a very sad situation, my wife came to the UK 2 years ago however from the start we had problems, she is from Asia

She fell pregnant and said she wanted the child however all through the pregnancy she acted like she did not want it.

Our baby girl was born and soon after i knew there was problems when she would cry at night my wife would run around the house slamming doors and telling her to shut up.

She was breast feeding and it soon become apparent that she would neglect feeding out baby, my mother got involved and we moved to bottle feeding and i started to take a more bigger role in looking after our baby

I left my job i worked rotations away in the oil/gas sector and took a office job 9 to 5 to play a bigger role.

Things got worse to a point where she threatened to hurt our baby saying she would drop her so i moved to my mothers with our child and contacted the GP to see if she could get help for post natal depression.

He informed social services in which i welcomed however wife did not.

After time we got back however i would sleep in a separate room with our baby girl in cot to give my wife space.

By accident she fell pregnant again and stated she wanted an abortion, i took her to she the midwifes and left her there in a room with 3 midwifes where she stated she never wanted an abortion and i was a lair

So we got back together and things seemed ok, we went to first baby scan and started even thinking of names for our next baby

A few weeks ago she started another argument where she punched herself in the stomach a few times picked our baby girl up and jumped up and down scaring her. she then ran across a busy road with her.

She then called the midwife stating she wants an abortion, the midwife came round and she was they same midwife she saw saying she wanted to keep the baby.

We have now split up and i am back at my mothers house with our 8 month old daughter

She said is going ahead with an abortion which will be at 22 weeks (baby's have been born and lived at 20+ weeks)

She is living in our marital home and i go visit to make sure she has food and all is ok, i buy her food for the house and give her money also however she throws the food away and spends the money on cloths and then goes to take away shops locally begging for food saying she has no food or money?!?!

She had a bank card but would just draw £300 out each day which would bankrupt us so i cancelled it, i am currently the only one working

She also has accused me of hitting her however over the months i have recorded her saying she would lie and tell people i hit her. i have informed the police about this and they are aware of the false claims

I also recorded her hitting me

She has also assaulted me in which i reported to the police,i also feel i am a victim of domestic abuse as she said if i do what she says she will keep the child she is pregnant with as i do not agree with the abortion this late as it involves injecting her in the worm to kill the child then inducing labor so she gives birth to our dead child

However today she said she wants to keep the child as she says i am pressuring her in which i am not, when i go visit out home she starts arguments and trys to provoke me in which i leave. she then calls me on speaker phone at a neighbors house trying to make me speak angry to her and tells people i hit her which i have not.

I no longer want any involvement with her, social services are currently doing a full assessment report on the situation and i live with our child at my mothers house who helps look after our child when i am at work.

They informed me currently until assessment report is carried out my wife should not have contact alone with our child so i take my child to a mutual friend and my wife goes there and i collect our child later however even then she starts arguments in front of our Daughter

I am never getting back with her, i sent a letter informing the home office we have split up.

My immigration solicitor told me it is common for a spouse to lie about domestic abuse to stay in the UK as she is saying i hit her in which i have not and have proof (video footage) she it me and said she would tell people i hit her

Has anyone been in this situation.............

[atilla12345]

What i have currently done so far

Took my child out of our family home to safe environment at my mothers

Social services are currently doing an assessment

Got advice from a solicitor to proceed with a care order in the courts for our daughter however i will proceed with this once Social services have carried out there report as there report may go in my favor

Contact police to state i have took our child and also i have video proof of her saying she will lie and lie i have hit her, police have been very helpful on this matter and visited me twice regarding this

Informed home office we have split up

I was giving her cash and taking her food shopping however she dumps the food and spends the money on cloths so now i think i will ask her to set up her own bank account and i will send money each week to her so what she does with it is up to her however i have proof i have been sending money.

[New on forum]

What i have currently done so far

Took my child out of our family home to safe environment at my mothers

Social services are currently doing an assessment

Got advice from a solicitor to proceed with a care order in the courts for our daughter however i will proceed with this once Social services have carried out there report as there report may go in my favor

Contact police to state i have took our child and also i have video proof of her saying she will lie and lie i have hit her, police have been very helpful on this matter and visited me twice regarding this

Informed home office we have split up

I was giving her cash and taking her food shopping however she dumps the food and spends the money on cloths so now i think i will ask her to set up her own bank account and i will send money each week to her so what she does with it is up to her however i have proof i have been sending money.

Very unfortunate situation I have sympathy with you.
Seems like post natal depression unlikely she will get custody but may get contact supervised.
She may be able to remain as a parent of child if she has contact with the child.
She needs help

[atilla12345]

I do not think it is just post natal depression, i really believe she has some mental health issues

I just wanted to be a happy family and had a good stable job and nice home with healthy child looking forward to life.

I have took time off work, this is effecting myself emotionally and also financial with the possibility i could lose my job & our home.

I also think this is effecting my health

I have no choice or say in the matter if she decides to kill our unborn child at 22 weeks, she was laughing about this when telling me the process they do the abortion. today said she will keep it but all this is now to much for me


I am really feeling low right now

[atilla12345]

I have asked her what she wants out of life and how we can sort this situation out like adults with our child and possibly second child's interests coming first

I cant really afford the solicitor fees right now and i want to try sit down for mediation with a 3rd party or legal person.

Is my wife entitled to legal aid if she decides to approach a solicitor on her own as i really feel she wants to try destroy my life ? Her visa states no access to public funds or resources.

I now do not want to be in the same room alone with her or contact her as she might try lie about something and the police told me to be careful of this also.

[Casa]

If you can persuade your wife to agree to counselling, the charity Relate provides free relationship guidance by trained professionals. The link below will give you the nearest centre.
https://www.relate.org.uk/