Marriage breaking down

[applepip]

I have no idea where to post this, so if it's in the wrong category, I am so sorry.

Myself (US citizen) and husband (UK citizen) married in Aug 2006 in Florida. I immigrated over here in October 2008.

I currently hold temporary residency - however, I was eligible for ILR for myself and my daughter in Oct 2010. We chose to extend the temporary visa instead due to money/time constraints. My husband is military and I am the sole carer for 4 children, so it was difficult to find time to take the test.

We have 3 children together, and he has a step child through me who lives with us (also an American citizen). All 3 are british citizens. 1 of those 3 has recognised dual US/UK citizenship. The youngest two, twins, have not gotten their American citizenship yet.

Recently, our marriage has broken down drastically. We are still living together, but I don't see things lasting much longer. He fits many aspects in the abuse spectrum. He doesn't hit me or the children.

My question is proabably rather obvious by now - is there any way I can obtain ILR? I am so confused. I don't want to be deported due to marriage breakdown when I have 3 children by him. I do not want the children seperated from their father (I would like him to have visitation). My children are settled here, and I prefer to raise them here.

What do I do? I am so confused.

I'll be around if any other information is needed.

[MPH80]

Will he support an ILR application?

If so - just apply and get it done.

Your alternatives are around using domestic violence (which would probably require evidence of it - e.g. police reports) or trying article 8 applications or access to children (he'd need probably need to be primary carer).

M.

[applepip]

Will he support an ILR application?

If so - just apply and get it done.

Your alternatives are around using domestic violence (which would probably require evidence of it - e.g. police reports) or trying article 8 applications or access to children (he'd need probably need to be primary carer).

M.

Not all dometic violence is 'police reportable'. Such as a few suicide threats, many examples of physical intimidation (using his size to back me into a wall and yell at me nose to nose), and numerous violent episodes where furniture, walls, and stuff is thrown or smashed.

I don't know if he'd support an ILR. Frankly, he likes to hold the children and my visa status over my head, threatening to have me deported and to keep the children, who would be lost without me given that I am literally their sole carer. I want the children to have access to their father, yet he tells me that he's going to take them away from me and make sure I don't see them again.

Is there nothing I can do?! This is a very scary situation for me.

[Lucapooka]

First you have to decide whether you are staying in a relationship or not. If you are not then you have a very simple solution: you can apply for leave to remain as a person with access to a child (or children) resident in the UK. Seek legal advice as this application will require court paperwork with regard to the children. One assumes the children will live with you and the father will have contact. Seek professional advice in both immigration and family law.

[applepip]

First you have to decide whether you are staying in a relationship or not. If you are not then you have a very simple solution: you can apply for leave to remain as a person with access to a child (or children) resident in the UK. Seek legal advice as this application will require court paperwork with regard to the children. One assumes the children will live with you and the father will have contact. Seek professional advice in both immigration and family law.

Thank you very much. I will look into this.

As far as I'm aware, making an application under spouse/ILR means the possibility of a 'home study' and questions pertaining to the marriage/finances/etc. At this point, I believe that would be lying if you know what I mean. I don't see this marriage continuing, sadly. I've stuck with it, praying that he'd find his way, but now it's gotten to the point that I am seriously appathetic to him and any reconciliation he does try to make. There's only so much abuse a person can cope with I guess.

[Lucapooka]

So child access is the most expedient and appropriate route. Time to seek professional legal advice as the best way to approach this.