Need help with my situation

[asaphelp]

After 10 years of lawful, genuine marriage and continuous 10 year cohabitation except an 8 month brief separation in 2016 and then again started to live together after reconciliation, my wife blackmails me with home office and says if we divorced or if I tried to get out of the current toxic relationship, she will speak to home office to get me removed. I'm a British citizen and I am absolutely sick and tired of the continuous false allegations of cheating and I really want to come out of this relationship as my mental health is seriously suffering because of all this and my memory is deteriorating due to the constant day and night arguments.

She says she will make sure that I don't live here and will get me deported, she constantly threatens me with home office and immigration, she says you are here because of me and I can get you removed. I am absolutely petrified and I have no idea who to speak to and how to seek help. Her constant allegations of cheating is absolutely eating away my brain and I have developed serious memory issues, I keep forgetting things and at times I have no idea what day it is and where I am. I have lately been forgetting people's names and it gets really frustrating.

I have been a British national for the past 7 years now and have been living with her since the day one in a genuine relationship and never left her, except a brief separation in 2016 when she assaulted me and I left the house after I spoke to university where I was studying, but I was in a really bad state where I lived for 8 months in a shared house and I asked my wife again if she wants to live with me again as I had no other choice and I was just compelled to do that. Things have been always really bad and I have to put up with this as I can't afford to live on my own due to high bills and shared houses are a complete nightmare. I don't know who do I ask help for, she says no one will believe you and there is nothing you can do.

I need help, I can't constantly argue with her and put up with the constant accusations, she accuses me of things and then few minutes later she denies it completely. She says I never said that, and I feel absolutely devastated and frustrated as I can't see anyone can help me come out of this living hell. I don't even go to see my parents overseas as I feel that she won't let me come back, I feel like crying and and my head hurts all the time because of the constant abuse.

Do I have any rights here? She says you were not born here so no one will listen to you and you can't live hear without me? Is that true? I never left her even after I had citizenship back in 2014 and that's because she has been saying it to me for the past 10 years now that she has more rights and I don't have any. I can't go to even see my parents and I am just way too distressed due to that. Would anyone help me with this situation or do I have to live with it? The only other option is to move back overseas where I was born, as according to her I can't live here without her will or permission. I feel like crying and I don't see anyone can help me, there is no light at the end of tunnel, I am scared to even go see police as I reckon she will create more problems for me. Please help me.

[CR001]

She can't have you deported. She is talking nonsense.

[asaphelp]

She can't have you deported. She is talking nonsense.

Thanks for replying, but she says you were given citizenship because of being married to me and they will throw you out if you tried to leave me. Is that how it works? if you leave the person you were married with and had citizenship based on the marriage, leaving her would make it easier for her to have the person removed?

[alterhase58]

Unfortunate situation. But YOU ARE a British Citizen - irrespective of how you acquired citizenship - with all the rights everyone else enjoys - nothing to do with getting married here. She cannot get you deported!! Maybe you should consider moving on.

[asaphelp]

Unfortunate situation. But YOU ARE a British Citizen - irrespective of how you acquired citizenship - with all the rights everyone else enjoys - nothing to do with getting married here. She cannot get you deported!! Maybe you should consider moving on.

This is reassuring, it's her constant blackmailing and accusations which is what makes me really depressed on regular basis and i feel helpless.

[CR001]

Blackmailing is a criminal offence as is harassment.

[asaphelp]

So moving away won't have any implications and according to the advice/opinions here she's just taking advantage as I am intimidated by her accusations. Few years ago when I returned back from holidays overseas, I was asked by an immigration officer if I am still married to my wife, I was a British citizen at the time and i was still married to her, and that made me feel really uncomfortable as to why did he ask me that.He took my passport and went away to check and came back and said sorry. Asked me questions if I was refused a visa before and I said no, he said you were refused ILR in 2013, which was absolutely NOT true at all as i was granted ILR before that. So i don't know why was he asking me all that when none of it was true That makes me wonder that I am not the same British citizen as other people are as of course they are not asked this question hence they have more easier life and have nothing to answer.

This is what makes me more distressed as immigration can still ask if i am married to my wife and if I said no then obviously that would mean trouble. Sick of the immigration officers intimidating and harassing behavior. I complained later to the border force and they apologized, but I don't feel comfortable or confident at all coming back to the UK while being separated or divorced. Especially, if she complained to the home office, then I will be interrogated by the them and harassed again as usual.

[alterhase58]

Every British Citizen has the right to enter the UK - you are not an immigrant.
Border Force officials can and do stop people of all nationalities arriving but as a citizen they can't do anything about your marital circumstances, though some may be more intimidating than others. You are under no immigration restrictions. There is no such thing as acquiring citizenship through marriage. The only advantage was that you acquired it faster and with shorter residency proof.

[asaphelp]

Thanks for replying, I don't personally think that everyone is treated the same, hardly any white person is stopped and asked if they are still married, all others are subject to be stopped and asked questions, which again makes coloured people second class citizens, harsh reality but that's how it is. Really appreciate your time and effort replying to my posts, I'm just expressing my feelings about what I experienced.

I am contemplating to return back to where I was born as I do not think that I have enough rights here or feel protected at all, her family members have been insinuating about the consequences if I left her and I now firmly believe that these people would get away with anything. Most Asian people in the UK who have come from overseas have suffered tremendously at the hands of other non-european and non-white asian people with UK passports. These asian people have been living here for merely 40 odd years and went to UK universities.but their mentality is worse then an illietrate person from a poor part of the world.

i feel unwelcomed here and went through hell with that woman I married unfortunately, my experience so far has been really poor and never felt that i would be heard or given any justice from this system. Asian people in the UK are way too out of control and are constantly abusing, harassing and intimidating their fellow country men who have been unfortunately born overseas, therefore we have no rights or protection here at all and we are at the mercy of these people.Weak system and lack of enough guidance and help warrants that I leave and go back and live in peace where i will be safe and protected.

[alterhase58]

As a British citizen you are free to leave (and enter!) the UK any time you wish and for any length of time, to any country of the world.
I don't believe this is the forum to help you with your personal issues though. But I recommend you retain your British citizenship.

[CULLINAN]

I am a Pakistani - so you can say brown (although I do not look like one due to my white complexion lol).

I think everyone has their own experience’s. While I do not disagree with your perception of injustice at some level (I have also experienced it in my life due to being non-white), I think it would not be appropriate to discuss it further here on this forum.

Anyways, even as a non-white asian, leaving aside your personal experience, it has no relevance with retaining your British Citizenship or not.

Obviously that is entirely your own choice if you want to give it up, but the blame will not be on your wife/her family, it is your own will as they can not do anything to revoke your British Citizenship on their own will.